being a college student is…

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{for le blog aesthetic // not mine.}

curling up in places too small for you and closing your eyes for just one more minute.

writing papers at midnight and then being horrified at your incomprehensible “logic” the next morning.

constantly wondering why your coffee cup is empty but not having the motivation to refill it.

spending your hard-earned cash on ice cream because your professors make you cry.

always just wanting to lay down on the floor.

generally wanting to lay down in general because you’ve never been this tired in your life.

worrying about cell phone bills, car insurance, food, budgeting, grades, social life, etc all the time.

finding new study music all. the. time.

in that same vein, finding new tv shows to watch.  (and sometimes they’re disney shows and that’s okay.) (meaning i discovered boy meets world while i was in college and honestly it helped me get through it.)

junk food. so much junk food.

developing weird ways to learn the stuff you’ve gotta learn.  (need to learn the kings and queens of england for your western civ class?  say no more.)

watching your friends get into relationships???  and get engaged???  and get married???  AND HAVE BABIES???

constantly wondering what the crap you’re doing with your life because of the above.  (“oh, that’s right.  i’m getting an education.  which will help me… how?”)

losing motivation.

gaining motivation.

meeting new friends.

saying goodbye to old friends.

setting aside hours a day to psych yourself up for something because adulting is hard.

taking tests.

sobbing in your car because you failed tests.

celebrating with junk food and movies because you passed tests.

being scared about moving on because sweet buttered crumpets, you’ll have to really adult and enter *gulp* The Real World.

moving on, despite whatever happens, because this is your education and DANG IT, you’ll get it done.


i only have a few weeks of school left.  i’m trying to live in these moments – to really relish them, despite the mixed feelings they bring – because i’m such a schoolaholic that i know i’m going to miss them.

today’s my baby sister’s birthday.  she’s four.  i distinctly remember living at a friend’s house while her adoption paperwork was going through, discovering pinterest while trying to figure out this college thing.

i’m totally scared at the prospect of a school-free life.  i’m obviously still going to learn (hello, french lessons), but it’ll be different.

more than that, though, i’m excited.  i’ll have a more flexible schedule, i’ll be able to live without a major stress-inducer in my life, i’ll have more writing time, i’ll be able to get a job without worrying about having enough school time…

saying goodbye is always hard.  but saying hello is such a bright, optimistic new opportunity, and i’m totally ready to see what i’ll greet in the next few months.

love week | some fanvids of my favorite ships.

Hello all!  Welcome to the week of Valentine’s Day, which usually finds me and my single friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies.  (The same can probably be said of you, too, if you’re single – don’t even try to lie to me.)  This week, I’m going to be indulging in all things romantic, because even if I’m not in a relationship, I can at least enjoy the fictional people who are, right?

Literally just like the title says.  Warning: Probably spoilers.

focal point | sherlolly {sherlock}

I’ve been shipping this since Season One, guys.  And it was worth it.  It’s always been worth it.

the last time | literati {gilmore girls}

Y’all know I didn’t like Jess.  But then he grew on me after I wrote that post, and, by the time A Year in the Life came around, he was (imho) the best of the three for Rory.  So here I sit, still holding my opinion of angsty teenage Jess, but having an entirely new opinion of AYitL Jess.  (And yes of course I’m planning Literati fanfiction.)

this is for the lonely | peter + wendy {peter pan}

Yes, I do ship small children.

i should have saved you | mileven {stranger things}

I will never get over this video, just like I will never get over this ship.  I’ll be sobbing over it ’til Season Two premieres in October.  (And this is the saddest video in this bunch, so I’m sorry.)

this | tim + mary {about time}

Current favorite movie (About Time) and current favorite actor (Domhnall Gleeson).  I love this so much.

tenerife sea | mondler {f.r.i.e.n.d.s}

I sobbed after Chandler proposed to Monica and then sobbed all over again when I found this video.  They’re my absolute favorite ship from this show, and I love them both dearly.

it’s you and me forever | cory + shawn {boy meets world}

Now, I don’t ship these two (I’m a hardcore Copanga and Shawngela shipper), but I love their bromance, their friendship, and how they’re always there for one another.  I love the love they have for one another.  Period.

teenage dream | copanga {boy meets world}

THIS is my main Boy Meets World ship.  Literal goals.

saturn | steggy {captain america}

Now, I don’t know who the crap allowed this, but I know I love it.  So bittersweet.  It perfectly encapsulates their story.

please don’t say you love me | knighthouse {emma}

Okay so the thing I love about this video is that it’s not just Emma Approved – it’s all the favorites!  Clueless (hello, Paul Rudd), the ’09 version (practically perfect in every way), and that other version that people like for some reason.  Love it.

Well, this concludes Love Week, as I’ll be at a cabin in Tennessee for the rest of the weekend with some of my very bestest friends.  What are some of your favorite fanvids?  What did you think about Love Week as a whole?  (Because I do love feedback & knowing that you guys like what I blog about.)

love week | fictional guys i’d totally marry.

Hello all!  Welcome to the week of Valentine’s Day, which usually finds me and my single friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies.  (The same can probably be said of you, too, if you’re single – don’t even try to lie to me.)  This week, I’m going to be indulging in all things romantic, because even if I’m not in a relationship, I can at least enjoy the fictional people who are, right?

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I was going to write a blog post on my favorite fictional couples, but it turns out I already did that (and my post is pretty dang great, so check it out).  I’ve also done post after post after post about being single (going twenty-two years strong, how’s that for a RECORD), so read those, too.

So since my sister is getting flowers from a male non-relative who likes her for the second year in a row, I’m going to think about all the fictional guys I’d totally marry if they existed.

No judgment, guys.  You and I both know that I have Standards and A List, and I probably wouldn’t actually marry half of these guys, but it’s fun to pretend, so… no judgment.

Anne-and-Gil-talking.jpgGilbert Blythe | Anne of Green Gables

Because who the crap could resist those beautiful eyes, that dazzling smile, and just his entire winning personality???  Anne tried, but couldn’t for long.  He’d tease you but he’d also love the heck outta you.  I’m down for that.

“There would never be anyone for me but you. “

Levi Stewart | Fangirl

This one’s obvious – he loves books (even though he can’t read very well), he’s a fanboy, he’s super sweet and super funny, and he works at Starbucks and makes his own unique drinks – which he brings to Cather.  I mean, it’s a win-win-win.

When she opened her door, Levi was sitting in the hallway, his legs bent in front of him, hunched forward on his knees. He looked up when she stepped out.
“I’m such an idiot,” he said.
Cath fell between his knees and hugged him.
“I can’t believe I said that,” he said. “I can’t even go nine hours without seeing you.”

Neville Longbottom | Harry Potter

Nev wasn’t much to look at when he was younger (I blame it on the fake teeth and fatsuits they put Matt in, because he wasn’t that ugly in the book) and he’s a tad forgetful, but he’s got a heart of gold.  Plus, he bailed Harry out more than once.  What’s not to love?

“I’ll join you when Hell freezes over,” said Neville. “Dumbledore’s Army!” he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort’s Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.

HIS. EYES..pngPeeta Mellark | The Hunger Games

M’KAY, listen UP.  My college/career Bible study got into a heated debate about Gale vs. Peeta and I’m pretty sure Team Peeta won because (1) he saved Katniss’s life more than once, (2) Gale basically killed Prim, and (3) he’s such a strong guy – physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I’ll always be Team Peeta.

“We were five. You had a plaid dress and your hair…it was in two braids instead of one. … So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She put you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, ever bird outside the windows fell silent. And right when your song ended, I knew -just like your mother- I was a goner.”

Faramir | Lord of the Rings

My siblings and I just recently introduced some friends to Lord of the Rings, and watching the extended versions all over again rekindled my love for this man.  He’s selfless, sacrificial, and willing to do anything for those he loves (even his deadbeat dad, who doesn’t love him at all).  Move over, Eowyn – I’d marry this guy so hard.

“Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?” she said. “And would you have your proud folk say of you: ‘There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Numenor to choose?”
“I would,” said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many.

Mac Campbell | Rose in Bloom

If you know who this guy is, bless you.  He’s a bookworm, super smart, and just the sweetest little pumpkin that there ever was.  The first time I read Eight Cousins, I knew I loved him, and Rose in Bloom just cemented my adoration for this guy.

“What have you decided to be, Mac?” asked Rose, as they went up the avenue side by side.
“A man first, and a good one if possible; after that, what God pleases.”
Something in the tone, as well as the words, made Rose look up quickly into Mac’s face, to see a new expression there.  It was indescribable; but she felt as if she had often done when watching the mists part suddenly, giving glimpses of some mountaintop, shining serene and high against the blue.
“I think you will be something splendid; for you really look quite glorified, walking under this arch of yellow leaves with the sunshine on your face,” she exclaimed, conscious of a sudden admiration never felt before; for Mac was the plainest of all the cousins.
“I don’t know about that; but I have my dreams and aspirations, and some of them are pretty high ones.  Aim at the best, you know, and keep climbing if you want to get on,” he said, looking at the asters with an inward sort of smile, as if he and they had some sweet secret between them.

dylan-dylan-ox27brien-hot-sexy-beast-Favim.com-1068521.pngStiles Stalinski | Teen Wolf

Here’s where my “no judgment” rule comes in.  Don’t ask how I found this show, why I started watching it, or how far into it I am.  Never mind, I’ll give you one answer – I started watching it because of Dylan O’Brien, whom I love, which is obviously the reason why I love Stiles.  He’s hilarious, loyal, and – as much as he denies it – heroic.

“The ten-year plan for making Lydia fall in love with me may have to stretch to fifteen, but the plan is definitely still in motion.”

Chandler Bing | F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I don’t love Chandler as much as I am him, which is probably why our marriage wouldn’t last a year, but I’d still take him.  I’ve always wanted to marry a funny guy, and Chandler is a million times that, plus he’s got a super-sweet heart and a genuinely caring spirit.  I’ll take it, even if it’d only last a little while.  (But then I’d give him back to Monica because they’re my otp.)

“I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be.  And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.  Monica, will you marry me?”

Shawn Hunter | Boy Meets World

SHAWN IS MY PRECIOUS BABY AND I WILL LOVE HIM ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE.  No kidding, I liked him in the first episode, but I really loved him around Episode 17 – The Fugitive (you know, the episode where he blows up a mailbox).  I just want to love and protect him and give him everything he ever deserved that the world never gave him.  Everything – and I do mean everything – went wrong for him, yet he emerged stronger than anyone thought possible.  GAH.

Cory: Okay, so after the prom, romance in the air, you and Angela, you’re gonna look in each other’s eyes, and…
Shawn: Me and Angela? I don’t know. Maybe. What do you think, we sat down and discussed it? How dorky do you think we are? What about you and Topanga?
Cory: We sat down and discussed it.

Captain-America-The-Winter-Soldier-Chris-Evans1.jpgSteve Rogers | Captain America

Chivalric hero from the ’40s with a super hot body?  Heck yes I would.

Peggy: You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?
Steve: I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with one.  Women aren’t exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.
Peggy: You must have danced…
Steve: Well, asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying.  And in the past few years, it just didn’t seem to matter that much.  Figured I’d wait.
Peggy: For what?
Steve: Right partner.

Sir Percy Blakeney | The Scarlet Pimpernel

The same exact sentence for the guy above could literally be used for Percy, so… heck yes I would again.  I own four (4) copies of The Scarlet Pimpernel, various paperback copies of the other books, and I think I’ve read ten out of the sixteen books (and El Dorado is the best).  I love this guy.

Had he but turned back then, and looked out once more on to the rose-lit garden, she would have seen that which would have made her own sufferings seem but light and easy to bear–a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and despair. Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone: the will was powerless. He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love and as soon as her light footstep had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade, where her tiny hand had rested last.

George Knightley | Emma

My first reading of this book (don’t hate me; I’m just now going through my classics phase) basically cemented my love for this guy – and also the fact that Jonny Lee Miller will always be the best Knightley fIGHT ME.

“I cannot make speeches, Emma:” he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing.—“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am.—You hear nothing but truth from me.—I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.—Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover.—But you understand me.—Yes, you see, you understand my feelings—and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”

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Jack Pearson | This is Us

Jess who?  Move over, kid – Milo’s back and this time he’s even better than you.  Jack is literally the best male character on the small screen today.  Dad goals, husband goals, friend goals – just everything goals.  In the words of Rebecca, his oh-so-lucky wife, he’s “freaking Superman.”  I’ve loved gushing over him with my mom friends at the preschool playground and I know that I’ll still be gushing over him over the next few years as the show progresses.

“You know, when I was a little boy, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Adults always ask little kids that.  I never had a good answer – not ’til I was twenty-eight.  Until the day that I met you.  That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wanted to be the man that made you happy.”

What about you?  Any men you’d totally take?  I claim all of these guys, though… at least ’til I find an actual real-life male non-relative to obsess over.  😉

coffee session | some things i’ve learned recently.

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(for le blog aesthetic / not mine)

You know the drill.  Grab a cup of coffee, listen to some music, and let’s have a chat.  (My side of the conversation is below; feel free to share yours in the comments!)

*sips coffee*

So my sister got some toffee nut syrup from Starbucks a few weeks ago and y ‘ a l l.  It’s so good.  Makes her mad when I “borrow” it, but it makes my coffee soooo yummyyyyyy.  (Why yes, I am drinking it right now – why do you ask?)

*sips coffee again*

I have a coaching call in literally one minute but I’m here writing out this post and if that doesn’t say something about my time management skills, I don’t know what will.

What’s a coaching call, you ask?  WELL.  CollegePlus – Lumerit, SORRY – is a distance-learning thing, and the thing the company does to keep you on track is give you a coach that calls you once every two weeks to chat about your life and your schooling and how it’s all going – and, most importantly, how you’re handling it all.

{musical interlude while I do my call}

Anyway, my coach is amazing and I love her to death.  She’s my fourth coach because I had three coaches in a year and let. me. tell. you. – that was not fun.  But she’s an angel and I think I love her best out of the three.  If I pass my last two courses (fingers crossed because they’re a little harder than I thought they’d be), I’ll be finished in March and that’s kinda sad because I’m going to miss talking to her every few weeks!  Plus she’s getting married, so that’s pretty dang exciting.

*sips coffee*

(it’s actually the next day and i’ve got coffee again and… yeah.  me in a nutshell)

So the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack came out the other night and oh my gosh.  It is all kinds of wonderful.  Seriously, I don’t know that I’ve related to a musical so much.  It’s so needed, too.  Such a beautiful, beautiful thing.  Listen to it.  If you’ve only got time for one song, listen to this one.  And really listen to it – turn it on, put headphones in, close your eyes, and just sit for a minute.  It’ll make you day a million times better.

I stayed up ’til after 1am listening to it when it came out, first laughing and dancing and dramatically lip-syncing in the bathroom and then sobbing while curled up in my bed with the blankets over my head.  Because that’s just the kind of musical that it is.

*sips coffee*

Like I mentioned before, college is hard.  I knew that going into it, and all the courses I’ve done have been different kinds of difficult, but… dang, these last two.  I’ve cried more over these than I have over any other course in my entire four years of college – which is kind of a lot because I don’t get stressed too easily.

I’ve always been super hard on myself, and have always had high expectations for myself, beating myself up inwardly if I didn’t meet those expectations.  I’ve always known that it’s probably not best for me to do that (LOL) but I’ve always let it slide because how else will I do anything well?

WELL.  All of the stress – courses, moving, trying to finish a freaking novel – came to a head over the last two-ish weeks (hence why I haven’t posted anything in a while – sorry, guys).  And it was bad.

Because I used to not get stressed too easily and then I was stressed literally all the time, I had to figure out how to take care of myself.  Definitely not by lowering my expectations for myself – because how stupid is that – but by not beating myself up in addition to everything else that’s putting pressure onto me.

SO.  While I certainly do. not. have. the. answers. (as evidenced by the fact that I still get stressed easily and will most likely cry over these courses again next week – looking forward to it), here are some things I’ve learned.

First and foremost, ask God for help.  Literally, this is the best thing you can do.  I think worrying is just being blinded by your own incompetence, so it’s a great idea to lean on the One who is good at everything, right?  Ask God for help and He’ll guard your heart with His peace that passes understanding.   Approach His throne with boldness and He’ll give you grace.

Second, figure out what’s giving you the most stress and see if you can relieve some of the stress.  Is your room a wreck but you don’t have time to clean it?  Do it in steps: Make your bed one day, take five minutes to pick up all the clothes the next day, spend ten minutes on it instead of on Facebook the day after that (which should be the first thing because we all need reasons to stay off Facebook these days).  Family member making you stressed?  Get out of the house, if only just to spend some time in the backyard or something; use headphones to shut it all out for a little while; or, better yet, encourage them to get out of the house.  (There’s almost nothing better than having an entire house to yourself.)  School giving you trouble?  Find someone who can help, work on it in spurts, set deadlines for yourself, reward yourself.

Which brings me to my third idea, the one I’ve been learning the most about recently:

SELF. CARE.

This is literally one of the best things you can do for yourself.  I’ve found that it’s mostly talked about in the realm of people who have depression, mental illnesses, self-harm issues, or other issues like that, which is kind of a shame because everybody could use it.

I’m so glad I started to learn about self-care personally, because it’s changed how I cope with things.  Instead of just bottling up the stress and pushing forward and never giving myself a break, I know how to deal with it in a better way now.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned how to reward myself when I’ve done my best by taking breaks after a long study session and curling up with a good book or guilty pleasure show.  (I’m halfway through the second season of said guilty pleasure show and halfway through the book I’ve been rewarding myself with.)  I set aside a day a week to work on my novel, which is a good idea because it needs to get done, it’s part of my massive final project, and it’s getting me into a good routine for when I’m done with college and can focus solely on my writing.

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t work hard anymore.  Far from it, actually.  I’ve found that making myself take breaks has made me work even harder – and better.  My writing has improved, my focus has improved, and my general attitude towards life has improved.

Plus, it’s always nice to have unexpected blessings, like spending the day with a good friend or your mom surprising you with gluten-free cupcakes.

All in all, my life has been pretty crazy lately, but mostly in good ways.  I’ll probably be here less, but I’ll come back when I can.

Have some laughing babies.

“give thanks to the LORD, for He is good.”

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this will forever be one of my favorite pictures of all time. my siblings and i helped my grandma set up her tree last thanksgiving and we had such a blast.

I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. – Ps. 9:1

As I think about how far I’ve come since last Thanksgiving, I’m amazed and in total awe of God’s goodness and grace.  Some of you may remember my totally angsty thanksgiving post from last year.  (*facepalm*)

In all honesty, I still have days like that, but they’ve been fewer as of late.  Mostly because I’m constantly realizing how incredibly blessed my life is.

Just how blessed am I?  WELL, I’M GLAD YOU ASKED.

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I have the best siblings ever.  Seriously, they’re amazing.

They never cease to make me laugh, stretch me, and teach me – everything from random facts about music and TV shows to anger management (*wink*).  I’d be so lost without these kiddos.

(And we totally won Halloween, especially considering we had about two hours’ notice for costumes.)

I love my parents to DEATH, too, but I don’t have any recent pictures of them.  So I’ll just say this instead: my parents are the best.  They teach me so many life lessons, they love me even when I’m hard to love, and they support me constantly.  I’m forever grateful.

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I also have the literal best friends.

Friends who will Gilmore-bound to coffee shops with me, play weddings with me, and then invite me and my siblings to come watch Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life with them…

 

 

 

 

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Friends who will invite me to Charleston for my very first girls-only weekend and get dressed up for a fancy-schmancy dinner in the car in a parking garage and talk to random guys about protesting and make totally inappropriate jokes with…

 

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And friends who will let me stay at their house for a week and then take me and my siblings to Universal.  And sing Moana songs 24/7.   ALL THE HEART EYES FOR YOU GUYS.  (And what a good looking group of people, if I do say so myself.)  (“AND THANK YOU!”)

 

 

 

 

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I’m grateful for books and the pretty places I can read them.  This particular spot is my hidden sanctuary.  I come here once or twice a week and read, drink coffee, or just sit.

 

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And, finally, I’m thankful for coffee, especially on a rainy Sunday morning in Charleston with two of my best friends beside me.

(And more pictures from my Charleston trip are coming.  Because I’m obsessed.)

 

What are you thankful for?

 

coffee session | grades & gilmore girls.

img_4202A few weeks ago, I needed to write a blog post, so I literally just got a cup of coffee, sat down, and wrote whatever was on my mind.  Apparently you guys loved it – which was good because I did, too.

So guess what.  It’s happening again.

I was thinking last night that I’d make it a regular thing (maybe not every week because that never works for me, but definitely more than once), and then I got an email from a friend linking to an article about coffee + friendship and it was wonderful and beautiful and made me so grateful for my friends who fellowship with me over coffee and it reminded me of that post I wrote – fellowshipping over coffee with my bloggy friends..

So here I am.  Grab a cup of coffee, play some music, and let’s start.  (Oh and read that article at some point. It’s great.)

*sips coffee*

I woke up this morning to notifications that a few of my BYU papers had been graded. 100% on both – one being that scene that I posted the other day.  TALK ABOUT YAY.

I love writing, guys.  I love creating worlds and people and circumstances in my mind and watching them make their way through my mind and onto a computer screen.  And I love getting good grades, especially when I’m maintaining a 76% in another course because I got a really bad grade on a test the other day – AN ELEVEN-QUESTION TEST.  LIKE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A GOOD GRADE ON THAT?!  Ugh.  *breathes*

It’s fine.  After I saw that grade, I closed my laptop and watched a stupid TV show on Netflix and let me tell you what – it was exactly what I needed.  Totally recommend being in the moment and being present and all of that… but know that you have freedom to unplug and take a break sometimes.  It’ll recharge you more than you think.  (Eyy puns…)

Let’s see… what else have I been doing?  (Besides school lolzzzz, emphasis on the zzzz.)

I just started the first of my annual fall reads – Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.  I can’t recommend it without a disclaimer for language, but it’s definitely one of my favorite books of all time.  It just screams fall – and it contains one of the most relatable heroines ever… and one of the most swoon-worthy guys I’ve ever read.  The other’s The Little Women Letters by Gabrielle Donnelly, which I absolutely adore.  It’s a retelling of Little Women.  What’s not to love?!  Anyway, that happened.  And I’m reading it while wrapped in multiple blankets and drinking hot tea, so that’s fun.  I’m going to have a ton of free-time this weekend, and I’m greatly looking forward to blasting through it (and sobbing at the end again, like I always do).

Another thing I did today was watch Blimey Cow’s latest video.  TALK ABOUT HASHTAG RELATABLE AND RELEVANT OH. MY. GOSH.  Go watch it.  Now.  I’ll wait.

What else?

*sips coffee*

One of my favorite writers, Hannah Brencher (READ HER BOOK), sends out a massive encouragement email every Monday, and it’s half the reason my Mondays don’t suck as much as they probably would without it.  (Seriously, get on that email.)  Here’s a quote that I really appreciated:

People won’t feel valued– like their friendship is pertinent to you– if you never have a reason to need them.

Friendships and relationships are built on need. Trust is built because the two of you are vulnerable enough to let some walls down and actually need each other to show up. Before that need comes in, you are just two people who like the company of one another. It is when we humble ourselves down to the realization that interdependency is essential that we uncover a true relationship.

I’m so grateful for friends who acknowledge a need for me.  So often, I feel just “meh” – like people don’t need me in their lives, and they do little more than tolerate me. (Obviously, when I step back, I see that that’s not true… but sometimes I can’t help but think it for a moment.)

And then I read things like Hannah’s email and that Verily article and am reminded that I have wonderful friends who not only like hanging out with me, but want to do it – so much so that we plan things months in advance sometimes.

I’m currently planning a trip to Charleston with two girlfriends – my first girls-only trip that doesn’t include any of my family members whaaaaattttt – and then a spontaneous trip with one of the friends to Tampa, where she lives.  I’ll be there for over a week.  As the kids say, it’s gonna be LIT.

And then there are times when my friends and I don’t plan things months in advance – sometimes it’s merely hours in advance.  I’m still reeling over something I did with my sisters and some friends the other week – something we “HEY LOOK AT THIS LET’S DO IT” planned the night before “it” was going to happen.

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l-r: lorelai, rory, sookie, luke, paris

We Gilmore-bounded at Luke’s.

If you’re familiar with Disney-bounding, it’s basically the same thing… except Gilmore Girls-themed.  And as a promotional thing for the Gilmore Girls revival (AAAAHHHHH), two hundred coffee shops across America transformed into Luke’s for the day.

The one nearest to my house was 45 minutes away, but that didn’t stop my sisters and I from getting up at 6:30 and leaving the house by 7 to hightail it over there.

WE HAD SUCH A BLAST, GUYS.  Everybody there was a fan of the show.  It was like a mini-Comic Con – BUT SOLELY FOR GILMORE GIRLS FANS.  They had everything set up like Luke’s – and they even had Gilmore Girls playing on TVs around the coffee shop.  (I have a video of everyone singing the theme song and then letting out a massive groan when the internet cut out halfway through the song.)

My friends and I went our separate ways later that morning, but got together again that night to practice music for two weddings that weekend – and basically all we could talk about was the morning.  It was so ridiculously fun, and definitely ranks on my top ten list of memories for this entire year.

(And obviously we’ll all be doing it again when the revival comes out next month.  Duh.)

Well.  I need to go do some school now.  Hope you enjoyed reading this – and let me know if you want more!

“should i stay or should i go now…” | stranger things.

stranger-things-poster(You know you’re a fan when this song makes you tear up.)

Before I start, here’s the obligatory disclaimer: This show has language.  Like crazy.  And little kids saying the words.  (Okay so they’re like twelve but I’ve adopted them because they’re all so cute.)  And there’s a sexy scene in one episode.  I love this show, but it’s got stuff in it, so don’t go off and watch it and then get mad at me for not notifying you of that fact.  (It’s happened.  I kid you not.  XD)  You have been warned.

(Also, this isn’t a review, it’s just a place for me to fangirl.)

Okay, so Stranger Things, if you haven’t heard of it, is the brainchild of two brothers, and it’s Netflix’s most recent (amazing) original series.  My family just got Netflix streaming, so we’re pretty new to it and haven’t seen the other shows, so I can’t say how this one compares but it’s pRETTY FREAKIN’ GOOD.  (I have very little desire to see Orange Is the New Black, so…  Netflix is where I watch Friends and Gilmore Girls.)

stranger-things1My sister and I had heard a lot about it, and after a friend recommended it, we decided to try it.  We watched the first episode in a dark, empty house, which heightened the experience significantly.

And, from that first episode, we were hooked.  We watched an episode or two every other night (after finishing our school and other responsibilities, obviously) and finished it in a week.

Not only is the plot amazing, it’s so original.  It’s like Stephen King + Stand By MeThe Goonies + Jaws + 80’s + sci-fi amazingness + everything Spielberg.  And it’s incredible.

But the characters are my favorite.

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lucas, dustin, mike, and eleven.  (aka my children)

First, you’ve got the kids – a group of literal twelve-year-olds, shoved into this incredibly adult situation when their best friend goes missing and crazy stuff starts happening.

Not gonna spoil much, but Dustin is hilarious, Lucas is so wise, Mike is just ALL AROUND AWESOME, and Eleven is precious.  (And Will’s great, too, but he’s only in like eight scenes.  But the scenes he’s in made me weep  – he’s SUCH A GOOD ACTOR.  {see his “should I stay or should I go” scene})

They’re all good good actors.  Gaten (Dustin) was in Les Miserables on Broadway before this, Noah (Will) was the voice of Charlie in the new Charlie Brown movie (and he’s also in a freaky Panic! at the Disco music video), and Millie (Eleven) is an amazing singer as well.  I expect great things from all of the actors, and if anyone hurts any them, I’ll hammer some nails into a baseball bat and hurt them right back.

Also, Mileven is L I F E, and I will ship it until the Upside Down rights itself.

Then you’ve got the older peoples.

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idiot steve, jonathan, and nancy

I love that a repeated line in the show is “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington” because when my sister and I would say it, it was like we were quoting the show.  So it worked.  All you need to know about him is that he’s a jerk who can swing a baseball bat.  The end.

And Jonathan, aka my precious gumdrop, is too pure for words.  That scene when he apologized for that thing?  I was literally about to whisper to my sister, “If he apologizes, he is mine.”  And then he apologized.  ASDFGHJKL.  Too beautiful.  Too majestic.  My love. Ugh.  All the feels.

Nancy’s great, too.  Talk about character development.  (Minus the scene in front of the Christmas tree in the end – like, Nancy, have you not changed at all.)

Jancy is also life, and I knew from the second their eyes met across the cafeteria that it would happen.  (Except it didn’t.  So I’m still angry.  But it has Happening Potential.)

Then you’ve got the much older people.

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sheriff jim hopper and jo march joyce byers

Jim Hopper’s such a deep character whose backstory we really don’t figure out ’til the last episode.  Plus, he’s that grumpy old teddy bear we can’t help but love and he’s jUST SO GREAT – and honestly if more child kidnapping searches were led by him, so many more kids would be found.

Also, Joyce.  Can we just talk about Joyce for a minute???  She’s been working at that awful job for, what, twelve years?  Never calling in sick, always picking up shifts for others, just to provide for her kids.  And she literally stops at nothing to find Will.  (And Winona is, as always, flawless.  The range of her acting in the different episodes of the show – and the flashbacks – is just phenomenal.

I love these two.  And, yes, I ship them so hard.  (This show has so many ships, guys.  SO. MANY. SHIPS.)

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A word of warning, though – it’s definitely freaky.  The scariest part is that they never show the audience the monster ’til the end, just teasing at it (much like the shark in Jaws). I personally think the build-up is freakier than the actual thing – the monster coming through the wall, anyone? – but it’s still scary.  (And, like I said before, there’s lots of language.)

So while I can’t recommend it without that disclaimer, I do still recommend it if you love sci-fi or well-written shows.  If you’ve seen it, what do you think?