movies i don’t like.

Since I hit a wall in my studying (they literally just told me to write a completed manuscript – aka an entire novel – for this course. shoot me now.), I’ve decided to write about movies I don’t like.  Because procrastination is what I do best.

My friend Haley tells me that I always say movies are “SO GOOD” and whenever we’re talking about movies that I inevitably say “OH MY GOSH I LOVED THAT MOVIE.”  So like a year or two ago, she asked me, “Are there any movies you don’t like?”  And I was like, “As a matter of fact, yes.”  And this post has been in drafts in my mind ever since.

In case you guys didn’t notice already, I really like movies.  I mean, I really like movies.  Quite a few of my birthdays involve going to see movies, and I also love to just randomly watch movies with my friends.  I’ll basically watch anything.  I’ve tried all different genres, ratings, actors, etc, and I have quite a few favorites.  (Favorite genre is probably rom-com, favorite actor is Stanley Tucci {oh gosh and Domhnall Gleeson}, and favorite actress is probably Emma Stone.  Which means one of my favorite-favorite-favorite movies is Easy A, because it’s ALL OF THE ABOVE, but I can’t recommend it without a disclaimer because of Content.)  Anyway.

HOWEVER.

I only love good movies.  If I think a movie is plotless or has zero character development or has too much objectionable content or just if I’m not in the mood when I watch it the first time, I’ll avoid it like the plague and basically hate it for the rest of my life.  (And trust me, I’m good at hating/avoiding movies.  See my first Harry Potter post.)

Don’t be offended if you love these movies.  I love movies that my siblings really hate (like Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit and various indie Christian films), so I get it.  It’s okay to have different preferences.  It’s what makes people unique.

But this is my blog, so I’m going to rant for the next three thousand words about different movies I really don’t like.  *puts on sunglasses*

So here’s a long overdue list of movies I don’t like, in no particular order.  Feel free to rant back at me in the comments.

Big Hero 6.jpg

i love this fan art, though.  *thumbs up emoji*

Big Hero 6

No joke, the first thing I thought when I heard about this movie was “Where are the first five movies???”  And it’s confused me ever since.

*sigh*  I know a lot of you guys like this movie.  I really do.  And I liked it when I first saw it.  But the second and third time (and fourth and fifth – the kids I nanny used to watch it once or twice a week with me), it just wasn’t that great.  And I love a movie that I can watch over and over and over and get more out of every time.  But… I honestly can’t say why I don’t like this movie.  It just seemed like the premise was so great, but executed so terribly.

The beginning with the bot fight was awesome, but everything seemed to go downhill from there.  The only character I cared about died in the first fifteen minutes of the film in a super-cliche way (*shakes fist*), and I wasn’t able to connect to anybody after that.  (Plus, the whole becoming-superheroes montage seemed a little contrived.)  And then the bad guy wasn‘t really dead?  He survived the fire?  Never seen that one before.

I don’t like movies about prodigies, so that’s probably why I was unable to suspend my disbelief so often in this movie.  Hiro’s, what, twelve?  And he’s in life-and-death situations with a super-scary bad guy?  Where’s his aunt when all of this is going on?  Wouldn’t she know where her nephew is, especially after he’s the only living one?  Wouldn’t he be on SUCH a short leash?  I don’t get it.

Overall, I think the movie is funny and some parts even moved me to tears (Tadashi’s “I’m not giving up on you” sequence kills me every single time), but it just seemed “meh.”

Man of Steel

Man of Steel (and Superman {1978})

Proof that I’m right by disliking this franchise is evidenced in the fact that whenever I tell people I don’t like it, they usually say something along the lines of, “But it’s so good!  AND HENRY CAVILL IS SO HOT.”

*rolling eyes emoji*

Allow me to tell you a thing.  Contrary to popular thought, I don’t watch shows/movies/whatever based solely on the hotness of the actors.  (Shocking, I know.)  It’s not a bad reason to watch a show, it’s just not one of MY reasons.  (It’s definitely a plus, though – don’t get me wrong.  I love me some hot actors.)

SO, when people watch Man of Steel or Superman and shun me for not watching it just because he’s hot… well, that turns me off it even more.

Anyway, tbh, I just thought Superman was lame.  The ending was just plain stupid.  One does not simply fly around the earth and reverse its orbit to make time go backwards.  NOPE.  *flips a table*

And in Man of Steel, when Clark had the big fight with Zod… gosh, seriously?  They leveled HALF of Metropolis just for Clark to snap his neck in a train station (or whatever it was)?  NOPE.  *flips another table*

Also, I think Batman v Superman is going to be lame.  I’ll probably go see it, but I don’t think I’ll enjoy it.  Superman would totally crush Batman in like five seconds, but all Batman needs to do is whip out some kryptonite and Superman’s done.  The battle would last five minutes.  (Unless there’s a secret plot having to do with the so very cute Jesse Eisenberg that they’re not telling us about…)

(But Henry Cavill is super cute.  I will give you guys that.)

home aloneHome Alone

Okay, so the premise of this movie is what I don’t like.  I don’t think they could’ve made it ALL the way to… well, wherever they were going, without Kevin.  I have friends with twelve siblings.  They don’t just “lose a kid.”  (Although my friend with eight siblings got left at church after our choir concert once because they had three cars there and the three drivers all thought somebody else had him…  We had to take him home, with a stop at Dairy Queen.)

Also, I was just never able to watch those robbers get hurt.  It’s scary and painful and it physically hurts me to watch.  THE FRIED HAND ON THE DOORKNOB.  HOWWWWW?!

The Hobbit

The Hobbit {1,2,&3}

Honestly, all I have to say about this one is that it isn’t as good as the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Not nearly as good.  I understood why Peter Jackson wanted to expand the book, and where he got the information from, and I defended him to my friends who thought it was stupid and that he was just trying to get more money.  BUT.  You can’t just change stuff that’s crucial to the plot.  AND MAY I JUST SAY THAT CGI DOES NOT MAKE A MOVIE.

I still love my Martin Freeman and Benadryl Cucumberpatch.  (And Aidan Turner!)  Don’t get me wrong – it had some amazing parts in it.  (I’m a firm believer that Tauriel should’ve been in the movies.  They needed more estrogen.)  And I’ll definitely watch them again (probably the extended editions, because I’ve heard those are better).

But the fact that even Peter didn’t know what he was doing sometimes shows that the trilogy was basically a waste of time for all of those amazing actors.  They should’ve taken a step back, planned the films for a few more years, and then shot it.

dark knight (2).jpg

The Dark Knight Trilogy

First of all, this series was hard to watch because, hello, it’s LAURIE.  Not to mention JACK KELLY.  (Teehee.)  IN A BATMAN SUIT.

Anyway, the first movie bored me, the second one was too dark, and the third one was my favorite simply because I liked the story and my precious bean Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in it.  I wrote an entire blog post about the last movie (or the trilogy; I can’t remember) after I watched it for the first time, but it got stuck in drafts.

I think I just didn’t like the overall storyline.  Bruce Wayne seemed too much like a rich-guy-turned-rich-thug, and there wasn’t any character development with him ’til he got beat up and fell in love with Selena What’sherface in Dark Knight Rises.

It just seemed like the whole thing dragged until the third movie.  I like me some character development, people.  And it just felt like Bruce Wayne was running around and doing nothing except basically destroying Gotham from the inside.  And that’s not very heroic.

So I guess I’m just missing out on some huge factor.  Would someone like to explain to me why Batman is a hero?  Why should look up to him?  Why should any of the citizens of Gotham put him on a pedestal?  WHY?!

Plus, I know that line in the end of The Dark Knight is iconic, but… seriously?

“Why’s he running, Dad?”
“Because we have to chase him.”

Um… excuse me?  (But, hey, it’s adorable Nathan Gamble, so I’ll allow it.)

Basically, I’m on John’s side of the great Hank and John Batman Debate.  “Batman’s just a rich guy with an affinity for bats, who’s playing out his insane fantasy – HOW IS THAT HEROIC?!”  (That song is now stuck in my head.  Thank you.)

{Note: I do love the soundtrack on this one.  Unashamed to admit that I know every single note in The Dark Knight Rises soundtrack.}

{Note The Second: Also, this is the third movie in the “superhero” genre that I’ve bashed.  HMM.  I do love superhero movies, but mainly just Marvel movies.  However, there’s one Marvel franchise that I really can’t stand, which is…}

Iron Man.jpg

{when he said this, the first thing that came to my mind was: what kind of stupid, egocentric maniac would tell people his real identity???}

Iron Man {1,2,&3}

M’KAY.  My first Marvel movie was Spider-Man, back in the late 2000’s.  (And I didn’t see the other movies ’til like last year.  Thought they were kind of atrocious.  Huge Amazing Spider-Man fan right here.)  Then I saw Captain America: The First Avenger, then I saw Avengers.  So Iron Man wasn’t my first Marvel movie, unlike a lot of people.  (It came out in 2008, so if you’ve been a fan of Marvel for a loooong time, you probably saw that one {lolz, or The Incredible Hulk} first.)

And I just… no.

I talked about Tony Stark a little in my post about how the presidential election is like Captain America: Civil War.”I’ve always disliked him.  In my opinion, he’s too prideful and his “redemption” never lasts.”  Which is true.  Every single one of the Iron Man movies have the same plot – jerky rich dude Tony Stark has a personal crisis and defeats the bad guy while finding redemption.

AND THEN HE’S BACK TO HIS JERKY SELF IN THE NEXT MOVIE.  INCLUDING THE AVENGERS MOVIES.  WHYYYYYY.  *flips a table*

I don’t know about you guys, but when a character changes in a movie, I’d like to see them stay changed.  I greatly appreciate – and even encourage – some back-sliding, because that shows that they’re human.  (I’m even doing it in my novel, The Art of Letting Go.)  The character needs to keep learning from their mistakes and continue to progress in their overall storyline that spans their entire life.

But you can’t just use the same storyline over and over again and expect nobody to notice.

I get that a lot of people like Tony because he’s funny.  I think he’s hilarious at times.  But having one positive attribute doesn’t make a well-rounded character.

how to train your dragon.jpg

How To Train Your Dragon {1&2}

(I’m bashing another favorite and you all hate me, I can just feel it.  Great.)

This one I just… meh.  I really understand why people like it.  It’s a great story.  Hiccup is hilarious.  Astrid is great.  All the other vikings and dragons are fine.  And the plot is pretty decent.

But it just wasn’t for me.

I liked the first one, but I could barely pay attention the second time.  (Here we are again, going back to watching movies several times.)  I could hardly watch the second one because it just felt boring.  The plot of the first one was fine, but the second one just felt contrived.  Plus, you can’t just kill off a main character for no reason.  It’s been ages since I watched it, but I remember being pretty ticked that that character had gotten killed off because of a lame reason.  (Was the big bad dragon already killed?  Was it for Evil Toothless?  I can’t remember.)

It just seemed… fine.  It’s just not my thing.  I loved the soundtrack, though.  John Powell is pretty amazing.

Doctor Who.jpg

Doctor Who

Don’t kill me, Morgan.

I may not have seen enough of this to know that it’s amazing, but I’ve seen my fair share of episodes, and it’s just… okay.  When I first discovered it in like 2010, I was totally obsessed with it.  And I’d only seen two episodes!  However, my dad didn’t like it, so we didn’t watch any more.  (But I still harbored a love for it and saved pictures on my computer and memorized entire scenes.  “Question: Who’s got the Pandorica?  Answer: I do.  NEXT QUESTION.”)

I can’t say I’ve never really been “into” the sci-fi genre, because I have, but Doctor Who just never did it for me.  I think I made up what I thought it was in my mind, and then when I watched more than those two episodes it wasn’t as good as I’d made it out to be.  The Doctor is great (Ten’s my favorite), the companions are okay, but the storylines are just… boring.  I can never get through a whole episode without checking my phone or pulling out my laptop to do something while I watch it.  Plus, some of the episodes are just downright creepy, and ever-so-slightly demonic.  (And those are always the episodes my dad walks in on.  *facepalm*)

I still like the show, though, and I even have Doctor Who-inspired things (like a notebook and even the fourth doctor’s scarf), but it’s not something I’d get as insanely into as other TV shows.  I’ll probably still watch it, it’s just not my favorite.

Love Actually.jpg

Love Actually

This one I don’t actually hate.  I just dislike it.  I have a lame memory of watching it (we watched it the night my dad resigned his position as elder and told the church we’d be leaving), so that might add to it.  It’s a decent movie, but some of the storylines are just absolute rubbish.  It’s R, so it’s got some issues.  My precious child Martin Freeman had the worst plotline (I could only watch one of his scenes because the rest were SO BAD), and Hugh Grant (my mom’s long actor crush and basically the reason we watched the movie) probably had the best one.  Plus, there’s this guy who likes his best friend’s wife and filmed their wedding for totally selfish reasons and that’s just not okay.

The only thing that saved it (and the only reason I’d watch it again) was the fabulous cast.  Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Kiera Knightley, THE ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE THOMAS BRODIE-SANGSTER…

This movie can be summed up in four words: Incredible cast, horrible plot.  I don’t understand why people love it so much.

{Note: I freely admit that I just told my sister that she needed to watch it with ClearPlay, though.  Because the actors, man.  And the plots are all stupid, but it’s almost that good kind of fluff that’s so stupid that it’s actually enjoyable.  So basically, out of all of the movies in this list, this is the one I dislike the least.}

Honorable Mentions (movies I hated and now I kinda like)

Princess Bride.jpg

The Princess Bride

Give me a minute here, guys.  I know this is a classic (and insanely popular in the homeschool circles, for whatever reason), but I just didn’t get the humor the first time I saw it.  I “liked” it, but I wasn’t immediately in love with it like some of my siblings were.  It wasn’t until my second viewing that I really got why it’s so popular (because it’s ironic and outrageous and hilarious).

Indiana Jones.jpg

Indiana Jones

I can hear you now.  “ANOTHER CLASSIC?!  ASHLEY, STOP BASHING THE CLASSICS.”

Heh.

My first introduction to Indiana Jones was waaaaayyyyy back in like 2005, when my dad found Temple of Doom on TV.  He was like, “Oh, this is such a good movie!  Let’s watch it!” And then proceeded to turn off the screen during half of it because of the language and the totally scary scenes.  (It’s got some freaky voodoo stuff, too.)  I was completely freaked out, and I hated the language, but my siblings loved it (despite the fact that all we really saw was the minecar scene in the end).  So we eventually watched the other three, and I was the only one in my family who didn’t like them.  I thought the first one was okay, thought the third one was boring, and the fourth one was stupid.  (He survives an atomic bomb because he’s hiding in a fridge?  WHAT?!)

However, after I really fell in love with Harrison Ford (thank you, Jack Ryan films *swoons*), I decided to go back and watch them.  I’ve been watching them with the kid I babysit (he’s four so maaaaybe he’s a little young, but his parents let him, so that’s good enough for me), and I actually liked the first one.  The jury’s still out on whether I think they’re too content-y (or pass The Sexy Lamp Test – the first one totally failed it and my inner feminist RIOTED), but I think I’ll like them.

Star Wars.jpg

Star Wars

If my followers count goes way down after this post, I’ll know it’s because of this.

GUYS DON’T UNFOLLOW ME.  I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT.  I NO LONGER HATE THIS SERIES.

used to hate it, though.  I hated the costumes, hated the insanely 70’s-looking everything, and I hated the plot.  The characters had no backbone, and although there were moments that I enjoyed, they were few and far between.  I saw all of the original trilogy before Phantom Menace came out (I can’t even remember the first time I saw them), and my siblings have always been obsessed with them.  (We even had to take a break from them for like a year because they wouldn’t stop quoting and/or referencing them.  Needless to say, I was insanely happy.)

Then Phantom Menace came out, and it was okay.  I saw Attack of the Clones in the theater (yes, I’m old), and my dad saw Revenge of the Sith in the theater and decided it was too PG-13 for us (I was only ten at the time, so it’s completely understandable).  We saw an edited version about a year later, and I thought it was okay.

Fast-forward to last year, when I was just “meh” about the whole series.  My siblings wanted to watch all of them again before Force Awakens, and I made it through most of them.  (I was so proud of myself!)  Get this: I cared about it so little that when I accidentally saw a spoiler on Instagram the day before it came out, I didn’t close my app and cry – I went looking for more spoilers.  And then taunted my siblings with them.  (Yes, I’m mean; I thought we established that earlier.)

We planned on seeing Force Awakens with my cousins, aunt, uncle, and grandparents the Monday after it came out.  That day, some of my cousins still hadn’t seen one of them yet, so they watched it and I took a nap because I really didn’t care.  I thought it was going to be lame.  While we were in the (insanely long) line to see it, I kept asking questions like, “This is the one about Captain Kirk, right?  The space one?” and “Oh this one’s got Eomer in it?!  YASSSSS.”  And I relished the weird looks I got from the fifty people in line around me.

But then I saw it and really really really got blown away.  And now I’ve seen the error of my ways and am watching them again with the aforementioned four-year-old.  And I actually like them (even though I’ll probably never love the new{er} trilogy).  So you can re-follow me.

Okay, this is long enough.  : P

Feel free to rant at me in the comments, or list some movies that people usually love but that you despise!  (And if you’re gonna rant… know that I have my CAPS LOCK ON.)

ten short movie reviews.

While cleaning out my purse (lolz, what a joke) I looked through all of the ticket stubs from the movies I went to see last year.  I keep them because (in case you didn’t know) I’m a huge bit of a movie geek.  And because I’m a movie geek, I decided to do a short review of all of the movies I saw last year.  Enjoy.

Phil and Louie.gif

Unbroken | 12/26/14

I didn’t “technically” see this one in 2015, but it was close enough.  I loved this movie so much.  It had a zillion of my favorite actors in it, and it introduced me to a few new actors (including Domhnall Gleeson, my current film crush, who is gracing the forefront of the gif above the title of this movie – yes, you’re welcome).  In fact, I loved it so much that I wrote a review of it.  And if you haven’t seen it yet, seriously, what are you waiting for?!

i-will-have-war.gif

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies | 1/31/15

This movie was just a big meh for me.  I know people who loved it, but most of my friends came back from it very disappointed (as we all were with the second one – minus Ben *wink*).  I didn’t even go see it ’til more than a month after it came out because I was so afraid of being disappointed.  The movie was okay.  I mean, it wrapped everything up, but it just felt like a mess.  And the CGI for all of the action scenes?  No.  The only thing that redeemed it was because it had some of my favorite actors in it (and the fact that Martin Freeman is just the perfect Bilbo) and it was decent enough to watch.  I don’t know how many times I’ll be watching it in the future, though.  IMHO, the Lord of the Rings trilogy was MUCH better, and I’ll be watching that over the Hobbit trilogy in the future.  (Extended, of course.)

thedropbox2.png

The Drop Box | 3/3/15

This was probably the only documentary I watched in 2015.  (That just goes to show how much interest I have in them.  #whoops)  It was still fantastic.  If you don’t know about it, click here to go to the website.  Watch the trailer.  It’ll make you cry.  I watched the film with some friends (including friends who were adopted), and it made all of us cry because we had such a connection with unwanted children.  It was beautiful.

tumblr_nneo3kXM6N1slwta9o1_500.gif

The Avengers: Age of Ultron | 5/7/15

YEAHHHH, BABY.  Even though I loved this movie, there were some things in it that I’m still mad about.  For instance (and spoiler alert if you haven’t seen it yet), the fact that Joss shot Clintasha out of the water was just unforgiveable.  Now Natasha’s with Banner, who totally freaked her out in the first film?  Nope.  It’s canon, yeah, but I’m not accepting it.  Let’s hope the Russo brothers dismiss the whole Brutasha thing in Civil War.  (“That was just a phase, Steve.  How stupid do you think I am?!”)  Also, did Pietro have to die???  He can zip around super fast but not fast enough to evade a series of bullets?  SERIOUSLY?!  *sigh*  I still loved the movie, though.

george-clooney-reveals-his-geeky-past-at-tomorrowland-blue-carpet-416457.gif

Tomorrowland | 5/23/15

This one got a bad rap by the critics – but, honestly, never listen to them.  They’re the ones who decided that Star Wars was too mainstream to give it many Academy Award Nominations.  (Speaking of, who else is mildly perturbed about the all-white Oscar Nominations?)  Anyway, I actually really liked this movie.  It started out explaining that everyone thinks the world is destined for destruction.  And then the bad guy has a super-unsettling speech about how everyone embraces all of the dystopia-craze because they feel like it’s unavoidable.  (“You resign yourself to a terrible future because that future doesn’t ask anything of you today.”  Gosh, it just gets better.  Watch it.)  All in all, it’s a little “green,” but it’s definitely worth watching, if only once.  (I’ve seen it twice since I saw it in the theater and it impacted me all three times.)

papertowns-1.gif

Paper Towns | 7/23/15

Katie and I saw this the night before it officially came out at the special Night on the Towns event (which included a preview of a trailer for another movie, and then a Q&A session with a lot of the actors, cast, and John Green).  I really enjoyed that one, probably because it was so close to the book (which I really loved).  It was one of those young adult movies you can watch with your girlfriends and feel all warm and fuzzy inside afterwards.  (Also, it was totally fun to see it with a bunch of other fangirls.  When Ansel Elgort made a cameo appearance, everyone screamed.  Including me.)

_1428934703.gif

Ant-Man | 9/7/15

This is another one that I loved, despite what the critics said.  I thought it was going to be totally stupid, but it ended up being one of my favorite Marvel movies!  So hilarious and so all-around fantastic.  Plus, hello, it’s (a slightly older) Paul Rudd from Clueless!!!  The girl character (played by Evangeline Lilly, aka Tauriel) was kind of one-dimensional (my pet peeve in movies – girls who are only there because there has to be a girl for the guy protagonist to fall in love with), but she was fine.  My favorite character, though (besides Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang), was Luis, played to comedic perfection by Michael Peña.  For months afterwards, my siblings and I would refer to something as being “crazy stupid fine.”  And it worked.  For everything.  (Here’s the link to his scenes.)  (Fun fact: I still haven’t seen War Room yet because my parents saw that while we watched Ant-Man.  Guess that makes me a bad Christian, huh?  XD)

lp2het1.gif

The Peanuts Movie | 11/7/15

Oh my gosh, this movieeeee.  It was like nostalgia from my childhood coming back and slamming me in the chest.  Yes, I cried because, yes, it was beautiful.  The movie spanned an entire year, so that gave the filmmakers plenty of time to do nods to the old movies – skating on the lake, Christmas, Schroeder and his piano, Thanksgiving, the Red Baron (IN WWII!), Valentine’s Day.  And there was a dance and I was shipping characters all over the place, and it was literally one of the cutest things I watched last year.  I saw it with my younger brother and sister, so it was kind of weird that two teenagers and one young adult were sitting in an animated kids’ movie, bawling our eyes out… but we loved it.  (And the gif is of Pigpen because he literally cannot be cuter.)

giphy (1).gif

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 | 11/20/15

Saw this the day it came out because of obvious reasons and bawled my eyes out.  I was also pretty freaked out by the (many) jumpscares and kept accidentally flinging my arms into the empty seat beside me.  (When I saw it again this past Sunday with some friends, I almost jumped into my bff’s brother’s lap.  It was embarrassing.)  This movie was everything I thought it’d be, and I loved it.  Katie came with me, though, and hated it.  So that wasn’t fun.  : P  It wrapped up the series perfectly and I was a very content fangirl.  (Now I need to read the books again.)

explosion2.0.gif

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens | 12/21/15

SWEET BUTTERED CRUMPETS, THIS MOVIE WAS SO FANTASTIC.  I’ve already written a blog post kinda fangirling about, but I’ll do some more here.  I was totally blown away by how great it was.  I guess my standards were low enough for that to happen, but I honestly didn’t think I’d enjoy it enough once – let alone want to go see it again (which I’m doing later today *party emoji*).  It just… gah.  It had its faults, yes (like the fact that you lost all fear of Kylo Ren after he took off his helmet and the fact that it seemed like all of the good parts of the original trilogy and barely anything more), but it was still fantastic.  I’m really interested in seeing how the whole Kylo/Ren/Finn/Poe thing works out, especially since half the fandom insists that Finn/Poe is a thing.  (I ship Reylo, but I think they might end up being cousins… sigh.)  We saw this with my cousins, aunt, uncle, grandparents, dad, and my little brother (his first Star Wars movie), and that definitely added to my experience.

I also saw God’s Not Dead 2 last night (my dad got tickets through a pastor thing).  I can’t figure out how to share my thoughts on it without spoiling anything (HA), so I’ll wait to post my review (if you guys want it) ’til the day it comes out.

Thoughts?  Did you guys see any of these movies?  Do you agree or disagree with me?  (I typically only go see movies that I know I’m gonna like, which is why it seems like I like every movie I saw in the theater this year…  So, yeah.)

PS: My next post is (I think) going to be my big answers post, so make sure your questions are sent in before Sunday and I’ll post my answers sometime next week!

Movie Review – The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

301882id1_TheHobbit_TDOS_Alt_27x40_1Sheet.indd“What have we done?” – Bilbo, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug  (hereafter referred to as Desolation)

Some of you may know that I’m a Tolkiendil.  (But only the some who have braved the storm of the LotR Blog Party this past week.  [Y’all are awesome!])

Some of you may also know that I saw Desolation yesterday.

Some of you may know further more that I enjoyed it.  MUCHLY.

Behold.  My calm, spoiler-free review, with a very restrained amount of caps lock.  (Yeah, it was hard.)

 

The Story

HBT2-TRL1-008r“”The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” continues the adventure of the title character Bilbo Baggins as he journeys with the Wizard Gandalf and thirteen Dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield, on an epic quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain and the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor.

Having survived the beginning of their unexpected journey, the Company travels East, encountering along the way the skin-changer Beorn and a swarm of giant Spiders in the treacherous forest of Mirkwood.  After escaping capture by the dangerous Wood-elves, the Dwarves journey to Lake-town, and finally to the Lonely Mountain itself, where they must face the greatest danger of all – a creature more terrifying than any other; one which will test not only the depth of their courage but the limits of their friendship and the wisdom of the journey itself – The Dragon Smaug.” (from the official website)

Yeah, that’s basically it.  We missed the first fifteen minutes due to traffic on our way to the theater, so I didn’t see Beorn (argh).  The rest of the movie was basically the above, with a lot of fighting, “very important dialogue,” and character-building.  Desolation was most definitely a lot more tense than An Unexpected Journey, with an action level of Two Towers.

 

The Characters and Cast

4Bilbo Baggins is a very likeable little hobbit.  He’s been dragged from his comfortable home and taken on this wild adventure.  When we meet him again in Desolation, he’s changed.  He’s slowly gone from wanting to turn around because he forgot his pocket handkerchief to being able to battle spiders and, hello, talk to a very fierce dragon.  He’s a little dim-witted at times (the beginning of the barrel scene, anyone?), but he is slowly embracing the Took side of himself and becoming more of a persevering warrior and leader, like Thorin.

And there’s not much to say about Martin Freeman… other than the fact that he has done it again.  He’s portrayed Bilbo with perfection and knows his character very well, never going overboard with either Bilbo’s timid side, nor his brave side.  My favorite part was when the gold starts shifting and he realizes that, good gracious, the dragon is alive.  He just sits down in the gold, trying to make himself as small as possible.  So funny!

21Thorin Oakenshield is the leader of the Company and the rightful King under the Mountain.  He’s eager to get back his kingdom and will stop at basically nothing to reclaim his homeland and take back Erebor.

Richard Armitage clearly knows what he’s doing.  I watched an interview where he explained that he had written things about Thorin’s backstory, not for publication or anything, but so that he can understand his character better.  It definitely shows.  He adds so much depth to Thorin’s character, it’s astounding.

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUGTauriel comes next, because she’s the new addition to the cast of characters.  And, boy, is she amazing!  A warrior elf, but not without a feminine side.  She is made aware by Thranduil (wonderfully and somewhat creepily portrayed by Lee Pace) that his son, Legolas, loves her.  Kili also loves her.  (For all who are worried and nervous, this is as far as the love triangle goes.)  And, hey, who doesn’t like her?  She’s strong-willed and brave, not to mention a wonderful shot.  Another aspect of her character is made known, but I won’t go into that because, ya know, spoilers.

Evangeline Lily played Tauriel, and did a great job making her fierce, yet gentle and feminine.  I really enjoyed Tauriel and can’t wait to see what happens to her in There and Back Again.  (I’ve already been speculating with friends and family about this….  We shall see.)

9135282_600x338Gandalf is the same old Wizard we’ve known since LotR and Journey.  In Desolation, he guides the Company as far as Mirkwood, then leaves on business.  In the book, we don’t know what his business is and have to be content with that.  In Desolation, Peter Jackson and his League of Awesome People have expounded on the story, explaining where Gandalf has gone and how his “business” ties into the events circling around LotR.

Ian McKellan again portrays Gandalf very well.  (It’s always fun to see him in a different role and say, “Hey, it’s Chauvelin!”)  Without going into much detail, Gandalf has his own action scenes and it’s evident that McKellan worked very hard on making the fighting seem life-like.

SMAUG.  The creepiest part of the entire movie was the last half, during which Smaug was a key character.  He was massive and scary and everything a dragon needs to be!  (And, no, I am not going to put a picture of him because, duuuuh, that’d ruin it for you.  There are a few pictures online if you must see them – look elsewhere.)

Benedict Cumberbatch did a wonderful job voicing Smaug (and the Necromancer), but you couldn’t reeeeeally tell that it was him because his voice was altered slightly to make it deeper and fit Smaug a little more.  Still, it sounded like a jaguar hiding in a cello.  (And it was suuuuper cool to “see” Ben and Martin on the same screen once more.)

Honorable mentions:

25Bard – He’s really cool!  He also doesn’t look a day over twenty-eight, which makes it a little unlikely that he has three kids, but, hey.  I don’t mind.  : )

Kili – He’s got a much bigger role in this movie, which, no doubt, has further endeared him to those who became fans of him during Journey.  Sadly, I can’t say anything other than that without ruining half of the movie.

Balin – I was really glad to see that PJ stayed true to the book and had him encourage Bilbo right before he went to get the Arkenstone.

Legolas – He’s back.  Considering it’s ten years later, post-Pirates and whatever else Orlando Bloom has been in, Legolas is played much better and, at sixty years younger, he’s a much better fighter.  The shield-slide at Helm’s Deep ain’t nothin’ compared to some of the awesome moves he pulls in Desolation.

And all the other dwarves were amazing yet again.  : )

Also, the end credits song is… awesome.

 

Objectionable Content

As I said before, t19his is definitely a ton creepier and more intense than Journey.  I was the only person in my family to watch the whole thing without covering my eyes.  Spiders jump out at you, the orcs are as creepy as ever, and the battle scenes are pretty gory.  There was also one minor crude joke that I thought could have been left out.  For more details, see the PluggedIn review.  (However, there are a lot of spoilers in the review, so only read it if you feel like you need to.)

 

The Bottom Line

I read several reviews that made me a little hesitant to see it, but I thought, “Hey, it’s Tolkien and PJ.  It’s bound to be good.”  I ignored the evil reviewers and saw the movie with friends (which is always the best!).  And I’m really, reeeeeeally glad I saw it.  My siblings and I can’t stop talking about how amazing it was.  Even though, yes, we do talk about the parts we thought were slightly “off-the-book,” we still always end with, “It was sooooo amazing!”  And I’ll definitely be seeing it again in the theater – to watch the first fifteen minutes and for that great feeling of being unable to breathe while certain things happen to a certain character.  And we’re still talking about how insane the cliffhanger at the end is.  *exasperated sigh*  Now we have to wait a “whole ‘nother year” to see There and Back Again.  Argh.

So here’s the bottom line: If you’re even a teeeeny fan of Tolkien and liked Journey and LotR…

GO SEE IT!!!  (Whoops.  There goes that pesky caps lock.  Oh, well.)

At Long Last

Well. Today is the 13th of December, the day which LotR fans, Hobbit geeks, Tolkiendils, and fantasy lovers have been waiting for since…since birth. (Sorry! ;))
Actually, since December 14th, 2012, when The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey came out.  Yes, today is the day on which The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug is coming out, and we are both tremendously excited. As in, TREMENDOUSLY EXCITED!!!
This is what we’re doing right now.  For a different reason, of course. 😉
 
Neither of us are getting to see it right away (Eowyn has to wait until later today, and Miss Jane has to wait a WEEK ;P), but we’re still celebrating today because that’s when it’s coming out and available to watch. We’ll both be keeping out an eager eye for reviews. We’re enthusiastic about Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug in particular, and about seeing (hearing?) him and Martin Freeman interact, because
we’ve been watching some of
Sherlock recently. And if he demands silence in any way, shape or form, we’re going to be thrilled to tears.  Martin Freeman we KNOW will be good, so we certainly don’t need to worry about him, but we’re super excited (we need a thesaurus ;)) about him as well.
Eowyn loved and was enraptured by the first Hobbit movie; Miss Jane took some persuading, seeing as she wasn’t too interested in LotR (Note from Jane: Don’t kill me!  Please! ;P) when Journey came out. But now, we’re both practically hyperventilating over the awesomeness of it all; this has fulfilled 364 days of waiting, and we’re hoping that it will live up to our expectations (it WILL. It’s just not possible for this movie to not be good.), and we’re already looking forward to the third movie next year… So happy Hobbit-release day!! 🙂
Who’s going to see the premier? What are your thoughts on it?

The Saddest News of the Day….

It has just been announced via press release that the third movie in the Hobbit trilogy, “The Hobbit: There and Back Again,” has been moved to a December 17, 2014 release date.  Originally planned as a summer film, the move now mirrors the three Peter Jackson directed Hobbit films with is also-directed “Lord of the Rings” film trilogy.  The second movie, “The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug,” is scheduled for a Dec. 13 release this year.
The shift makes the release consistent with the pre-holiday releases of the previous films pitting it in competition with two family friendly films, one a spinoff of “Despicable Me,” and the other from Pixar’s Brad Bird titled “Tomorrowland.”
The bulk of all three films has already been shot with planned “pick ups” set for May which are expected to last for several weeks or even months. The first film, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” has grossed nearly $1 billion world wide at the box office and $300 million in the U.S. The three movies are based on the book “The Hobbit,” by J.R.R. Tolkien, released 75 years ago.
Found here on The One Ring.
No, I didn’t cry….  I just sighed.
~Eowyn~

Quite a Few Things I LOVE About Christmas!!

  • The fact that it’s actually CHRISTMASTIME!!!  (“Eowyn, dear, we have all apprehended as much.”  Yes, yes, yes, I know, I’ve just been super busy.  First and probably last Christmas post, coming up!)
  • Having Starbucks Holiday drinks… the Peppermint Mocha especially (or Peppermint Hot Chocolate or Peppermint Mocha Frappichino!!)
  • Listening to Christmas music – old faithfuls like It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (which we have on a record, but can’t listen to because a certain three-year-old brother broke the needle… again…), Marshmallow World, and The Christmas Waltz, and newer songs like All I Really Want for Christmas (I dare you to listen to it and not cry!), Welcome to Our World, While You Were Sleeping, The Christmas Can-Can (heehee…), and Oh, Holy Night (performed by The Voice of Chocolate).  I’ve heard people say that they’re tired of Christmas music within the first week of December, but I never tire of Christmas music!!!
  • Watching It’s a Wonderful Life, our Christmas Eve movie!!  (Jimmy Stewart is ah.mazing…)
Donna and Jimmy’s onscreen chemistry deserves an Academy award!
  • Gathering with friends from church
  • The cold weather!  Here in Georgia, it’s finally gotten cold!  At my violin recital last night (I played the Bach Double Violin Concerto and loved it!), I nearly froze.  No kidding!
  • Watching ‘The Kid’ – a Growing Pains Christmas Special.  Discovered it earlier this year after reading Still Growing by Kirk Cameron (great read, by the way!) and really liked it!
  • Watching White Christmas, starring Bing Crosby!  Arwen started it for my little brother this morning before I got up and now we’re going to watch it again.  : )
  • Getting together with family members that I haven’t seen in ages!
  • Watching The Shop Around the Corner,which isn’t a Christmas movie per se, but whatever.  Like I said – Jimmy Stewart….  : )
Alfred Kralik (Jimmy Stewart): There might be a lot we don’t know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.
Klara Novak (Margaret Sullavan): Well I really wouldn’t care to scratch your surface, Mr. Kralik, because I know exactly what I’d find. Instead of a heart, a hand-bag. Instead of a soul, a suitcase. And instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter… which doesn’t work.
  • Watching Holiday Inn.  No, it’s not a Christmas movie, but it’s got snow in it, which automatically makes it a Christmas movie.  Me loves it.  : )
  • Eating candy and cakes and cookies and fudge and every good thing!
  • Watching Little Women!!  (If I think a movie should be classified as a Christmas movie, who are you to argue with me?!  Need I pull the its-my-blog-I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-it card?)
  • The fact that The Hobbit and Les Miserables will now forever remind me of Christmas!!  WAHOOO!!!
  • Watching Miracle on 34th Street!  Love that movie….  : )
  • Teaching my little brother about Christmas…. : )  I love listening to his reasons – “Jingle bells and presents!” – then helping him find the real reason – “Jesus when born!  And Santa Claus!”  (Well, sort of….  We’re still working on it.)  (Bunny trail….  Let me just tell you guys that he. Is. Adorable.  The fortunate few of you that have met him know how much personality he has!  Just the other day, he went out to eat with my mom and one of her friends and her husband, and this adorable little evangelist was asking the man, “Did you know that Jesus died on the cross?  And Christmas is about Jesus when born?”  And then, at a Christmas party after my violin recital, he stared at an older man for a long time, then told him, point blank, “You… are an old man.”)
My absolute favorite reason why I love Christmas, however, is the fact that it’s actually Christmastime once again.  I’ve heard that Christmas is when the world falls in love, and I know that’s been true when it comes to my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I could go on and on about how He didn’t have to be born in a manger – He’s the King of Kings! – or how many things I’ve learned this year, especially in the past month, that make me love Him more….  It seems like everything in my life is drawing me closer to Him!  From questioning why people don’t do certain things I’m involved in, like watching The Hobbit or actually celebrating Christmas and asking God to help me find the reasons why I do those things and not just settling for the easy answer (“Just cuz…”), to just learning about Him through church events, the Anger Resolution Seminar by Bill Gothard.  No, I’m not perfect (far from it, as you hopefully know!), but I can see myself slowly growing in my relationship with Him.  I’m forever thankful for what He did for me, for which, despite all the awful beating this holiday has taken from the media and marketing and millions of other sources, I’m forever reminded of this time of year.  It’s something I’ll still be thinking about a lot and I hope you’ll take the time to do the same.
Merry Christmas!!!
~Eowyn~

*inane giggling*

(I can’t look at that poster without smiling!!  “Incineration…?”)
Quick post just to say that I saw The Hobbit last Saturday and, needless to say, absolutely loved it.
I’d love to do a longer post/review (complete with quotes and pictures and what have you!!!), but that’ll have to wait ’til I have more time on my hands.  : P
So I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from The Hobbit.
Ready?
(Well, I can’t find the entire quote….  All I can find is from TV Spot #6….  Oh, well.)
“I know you doubt me.  I know you always have.  I often think of Bag End.  That’s where I belong – that’s home.  You don’t have one.  It was taken from you….  But I will help you take it back if I can.”
~Eowyn~