Hello all! Welcome to the week of Valentine’s Day, which usually finds me and my single friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies. (The same can probably be said of you, too, if you’re single – don’t even try to lie to me.) This week, I’m going to be indulging in all things romantic, because even if I’m not in a relationship, I can at least enjoy the fictional people who are, right?
I was going to write a blog post on my favorite fictional couples, but it turns out I already did that (and my post is pretty dang great, so check it out). I’ve also done post after post after post about being single (going twenty-two years strong, how’s that for a RECORD), so read those, too.
So since my sister is getting flowers from a male non-relative who likes her for the second year in a row, I’m going to think about all the fictional guys I’d totally marry if they existed.
No judgment, guys. You and I both know that I have Standards and A List, and I probably wouldn’t actually marry half of these guys, but it’s fun to pretend, so… no judgment.
Gilbert Blythe | Anne of Green Gables
Because who the crap could resist those beautiful eyes, that dazzling smile, and just his entire winning personality??? Anne tried, but couldn’t for long. He’d tease you but he’d also love the heck outta you. I’m down for that.
“There would never be anyone for me but you. “
Levi Stewart | Fangirl
This one’s obvious – he loves books (even though he can’t read very well), he’s a fanboy, he’s super sweet and super funny, and he works at Starbucks and makes his own unique drinks – which he brings to Cather. I mean, it’s a win-win-win.
When she opened her door, Levi was sitting in the hallway, his legs bent in front of him, hunched forward on his knees. He looked up when she stepped out.
“I’m such an idiot,” he said.
Cath fell between his knees and hugged him.
“I can’t believe I said that,” he said. “I can’t even go nine hours without seeing you.”
Neville Longbottom | Harry Potter
Nev wasn’t much to look at when he was younger (I blame it on the fake teeth and fatsuits they put Matt in, because he wasn’t that ugly in the book) and he’s a tad forgetful, but he’s got a heart of gold. Plus, he bailed Harry out more than once. What’s not to love?
“I’ll join you when Hell freezes over,” said Neville. “Dumbledore’s Army!” he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort’s Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.
Peeta Mellark | The Hunger Games
M’KAY, listen UP. My college/career Bible study got into a heated debate about Gale vs. Peeta and I’m pretty sure Team Peeta won because (1) he saved Katniss’s life more than once, (2) Gale basically killed Prim, and (3) he’s such a strong guy – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’ll always be Team Peeta.
“We were five. You had a plaid dress and your hair…it was in two braids instead of one. … So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She put you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, ever bird outside the windows fell silent. And right when your song ended, I knew -just like your mother- I was a goner.”
Faramir | Lord of the Rings
My siblings and I just recently introduced some friends to Lord of the Rings, and watching the extended versions all over again rekindled my love for this man. He’s selfless, sacrificial, and willing to do anything for those he loves (even his deadbeat dad, who doesn’t love him at all). Move over, Eowyn – I’d marry this guy so hard.
“Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?” she said. “And would you have your proud folk say of you: ‘There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Numenor to choose?”
“I would,” said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many.
Mac Campbell | Rose in Bloom
If you know who this guy is, bless you. He’s a bookworm, super smart, and just the sweetest little pumpkin that there ever was. The first time I read Eight Cousins, I knew I loved him, and Rose in Bloom just cemented my adoration for this guy.
“What have you decided to be, Mac?” asked Rose, as they went up the avenue side by side.
“A man first, and a good one if possible; after that, what God pleases.”
Something in the tone, as well as the words, made Rose look up quickly into Mac’s face, to see a new expression there. It was indescribable; but she felt as if she had often done when watching the mists part suddenly, giving glimpses of some mountaintop, shining serene and high against the blue.
“I think you will be something splendid; for you really look quite glorified, walking under this arch of yellow leaves with the sunshine on your face,” she exclaimed, conscious of a sudden admiration never felt before; for Mac was the plainest of all the cousins.
“I don’t know about that; but I have my dreams and aspirations, and some of them are pretty high ones. Aim at the best, you know, and keep climbing if you want to get on,” he said, looking at the asters with an inward sort of smile, as if he and they had some sweet secret between them.
Stiles Stalinski | Teen Wolf
Here’s where my “no judgment” rule comes in. Don’t ask how I found this show, why I started watching it, or how far into it I am. Never mind, I’ll give you one answer – I started watching it because of Dylan O’Brien, whom I love, which is obviously the reason why I love Stiles. He’s hilarious, loyal, and – as much as he denies it – heroic.
“The ten-year plan for making Lydia fall in love with me may have to stretch to fifteen, but the plan is definitely still in motion.”
Chandler Bing | F.R.I.E.N.D.S
I don’t love Chandler as much as I am him, which is probably why our marriage wouldn’t last a year, but I’d still take him. I’ve always wanted to marry a funny guy, and Chandler is a million times that, plus he’s got a super-sweet heart and a genuinely caring spirit. I’ll take it, even if it’d only last a little while. (But then I’d give him back to Monica because they’re my otp.)
“I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?”
Shawn Hunter | Boy Meets World
SHAWN IS MY PRECIOUS BABY AND I WILL LOVE HIM ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE. No kidding, I liked him in the first episode, but I really loved him around Episode 17 – The Fugitive (you know, the episode where he blows up a mailbox). I just want to love and protect him and give him everything he ever deserved that the world never gave him. Everything – and I do mean everything – went wrong for him, yet he emerged stronger than anyone thought possible. GAH.
Cory: Okay, so after the prom, romance in the air, you and Angela, you’re gonna look in each other’s eyes, and…
Shawn: Me and Angela? I don’t know. Maybe. What do you think, we sat down and discussed it? How dorky do you think we are? What about you and Topanga?
Cory: We sat down and discussed it.
Steve Rogers | Captain America
Chivalric hero from the ’40s with a super hot body? Heck yes I would.
Peggy: You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?
Steve: I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with one. Women aren’t exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.
Peggy: You must have danced…
Steve: Well, asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying. And in the past few years, it just didn’t seem to matter that much. Figured I’d wait.
Peggy: For what?
Steve: Right partner.
Sir Percy Blakeney | The Scarlet Pimpernel
The same exact sentence for the guy above could literally be used for Percy, so… heck yes I would again. I own four (4) copies of The Scarlet Pimpernel, various paperback copies of the other books, and I think I’ve read ten out of the sixteen books (and El Dorado is the best). I love this guy.
Had he but turned back then, and looked out once more on to the rose-lit garden, she would have seen that which would have made her own sufferings seem but light and easy to bear–a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and despair. Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone: the will was powerless. He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love and as soon as her light footstep had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade, where her tiny hand had rested last.
George Knightley | Emma
My first reading of this book (don’t hate me; I’m just now going through my classics phase) basically cemented my love for this guy – and also the fact that Jonny Lee Miller will always be the best Knightley fIGHT ME.
“I cannot make speeches, Emma:” he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing.—“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am.—You hear nothing but truth from me.—I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.—Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover.—But you understand me.—Yes, you see, you understand my feelings—and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”
Jack Pearson | This is Us
Jess who? Move over, kid – Milo’s back and this time he’s even better than you. Jack is literally the best male character on the small screen today. Dad goals, husband goals, friend goals – just everything goals. In the words of Rebecca, his oh-so-lucky wife, he’s “freaking Superman.” I’ve loved gushing over him with my mom friends at the preschool playground and I know that I’ll still be gushing over him over the next few years as the show progresses.
“You know, when I was a little boy, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Adults always ask little kids that. I never had a good answer – not ’til I was twenty-eight. Until the day that I met you. That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be the man that made you happy.”
What about you? Any men you’d totally take? I claim all of these guys, though… at least ’til I find an actual real-life male non-relative to obsess over. 😉