being a college student is…


{for le blog aesthetic // not mine.}

curling up in places too small for you and closing your eyes for just one more minute.

writing papers at midnight and then being horrified at your incomprehensible “logic” the next morning.

constantly wondering why your coffee cup is empty but not having the motivation to refill it.

spending your hard-earned cash on ice cream because your professors make you cry.

always just wanting to lay down on the floor.

generally wanting to lay down in general because you’ve never been this tired in your life.

worrying about cell phone bills, car insurance, food, budgeting, grades, social life, etc all the time.

finding new study music all. the. time.

in that same vein, finding new tv shows to watch.  (and sometimes they’re disney shows and that’s okay.) (meaning i discovered boy meets world while i was in college and honestly it helped me get through it.)

junk food. so much junk food.

developing weird ways to learn the stuff you’ve gotta learn.  (need to learn the kings and queens of england for your western civ class?  say no more.)

watching your friends get into relationships???  and get engaged???  and get married???  AND HAVE BABIES???

constantly wondering what the crap you’re doing with your life because of the above.  (“oh, that’s right.  i’m getting an education.  which will help me… how?”)

losing motivation.

gaining motivation.

meeting new friends.

saying goodbye to old friends.

setting aside hours a day to psych yourself up for something because adulting is hard.

taking tests.

sobbing in your car because you failed tests.

celebrating with junk food and movies because you passed tests.

being scared about moving on because sweet buttered crumpets, you’ll have to really adult and enter *gulp* The Real World.

moving on, despite whatever happens, because this is your education and DANG IT, you’ll get it done.

i only have a few weeks of school left.  i’m trying to live in these moments – to really relish them, despite the mixed feelings they bring – because i’m such a schoolaholic that i know i’m going to miss them.

today’s my baby sister’s birthday.  she’s four.  i distinctly remember living at a friend’s house while her adoption paperwork was going through, discovering pinterest while trying to figure out this college thing.

i’m totally scared at the prospect of a school-free life.  i’m obviously still going to learn (hello, french lessons), but it’ll be different.

more than that, though, i’m excited.  i’ll have a more flexible schedule, i’ll be able to live without a major stress-inducer in my life, i’ll have more writing time, i’ll be able to get a job without worrying about having enough school time…

saying goodbye is always hard.  but saying hello is such a bright, optimistic new opportunity, and i’m totally ready to see what i’ll greet in the next few months.

love week | some fanvids of my favorite ships.

Hello all!  Welcome to the week of Valentine’s Day, which usually finds me and my single friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies.  (The same can probably be said of you, too, if you’re single – don’t even try to lie to me.)  This week, I’m going to be indulging in all things romantic, because even if I’m not in a relationship, I can at least enjoy the fictional people who are, right?

Literally just like the title says.  Warning: Probably spoilers.

focal point | sherlolly {sherlock}

I’ve been shipping this since Season One, guys.  And it was worth it.  It’s always been worth it.

the last time | literati {gilmore girls}

Y’all know I didn’t like Jess.  But then he grew on me after I wrote that post, and, by the time A Year in the Life came around, he was (imho) the best of the three for Rory.  So here I sit, still holding my opinion of angsty teenage Jess, but having an entirely new opinion of AYitL Jess.  (And yes of course I’m planning Literati fanfiction.)

this is for the lonely | peter + wendy {peter pan}

Yes, I do ship small children.

i should have saved you | mileven {stranger things}

I will never get over this video, just like I will never get over this ship.  I’ll be sobbing over it ’til Season Two premieres in October.  (And this is the saddest video in this bunch, so I’m sorry.)

this | tim + mary {about time}

Current favorite movie (About Time) and current favorite actor (Domhnall Gleeson).  I love this so much.

tenerife sea | mondler {f.r.i.e.n.d.s}

I sobbed after Chandler proposed to Monica and then sobbed all over again when I found this video.  They’re my absolute favorite ship from this show, and I love them both dearly.

it’s you and me forever | cory + shawn {boy meets world}

Now, I don’t ship these two (I’m a hardcore Copanga and Shawngela shipper), but I love their bromance, their friendship, and how they’re always there for one another.  I love the love they have for one another.  Period.

teenage dream | copanga {boy meets world}

THIS is my main Boy Meets World ship.  Literal goals.

saturn | steggy {captain america}

Now, I don’t know who the crap allowed this, but I know I love it.  So bittersweet.  It perfectly encapsulates their story.

please don’t say you love me | knighthouse {emma}

Okay so the thing I love about this video is that it’s not just Emma Approved – it’s all the favorites!  Clueless (hello, Paul Rudd), the ’09 version (practically perfect in every way), and that other version that people like for some reason.  Love it.

Well, this concludes Love Week, as I’ll be at a cabin in Tennessee for the rest of the weekend with some of my very bestest friends.  What are some of your favorite fanvids?  What did you think about Love Week as a whole?  (Because I do love feedback & knowing that you guys like what I blog about.)

love week | fictional guys i’d totally marry.

Hello all!  Welcome to the week of Valentine’s Day, which usually finds me and my single friends eating chocolate and watching sappy movies.  (The same can probably be said of you, too, if you’re single – don’t even try to lie to me.)  This week, I’m going to be indulging in all things romantic, because even if I’m not in a relationship, I can at least enjoy the fictional people who are, right?

fictional guys i'd totally marry.jpg

I was going to write a blog post on my favorite fictional couples, but it turns out I already did that (and my post is pretty dang great, so check it out).  I’ve also done post after post after post about being single (going twenty-two years strong, how’s that for a RECORD), so read those, too.

So since my sister is getting flowers from a male non-relative who likes her for the second year in a row, I’m going to think about all the fictional guys I’d totally marry if they existed.

No judgment, guys.  You and I both know that I have Standards and A List, and I probably wouldn’t actually marry half of these guys, but it’s fun to pretend, so… no judgment.

Anne-and-Gil-talking.jpgGilbert Blythe | Anne of Green Gables

Because who the crap could resist those beautiful eyes, that dazzling smile, and just his entire winning personality???  Anne tried, but couldn’t for long.  He’d tease you but he’d also love the heck outta you.  I’m down for that.

“There would never be anyone for me but you. “

Levi Stewart | Fangirl

This one’s obvious – he loves books (even though he can’t read very well), he’s a fanboy, he’s super sweet and super funny, and he works at Starbucks and makes his own unique drinks – which he brings to Cather.  I mean, it’s a win-win-win.

When she opened her door, Levi was sitting in the hallway, his legs bent in front of him, hunched forward on his knees. He looked up when she stepped out.
“I’m such an idiot,” he said.
Cath fell between his knees and hugged him.
“I can’t believe I said that,” he said. “I can’t even go nine hours without seeing you.”

Neville Longbottom | Harry Potter

Nev wasn’t much to look at when he was younger (I blame it on the fake teeth and fatsuits they put Matt in, because he wasn’t that ugly in the book) and he’s a tad forgetful, but he’s got a heart of gold.  Plus, he bailed Harry out more than once.  What’s not to love?

“I’ll join you when Hell freezes over,” said Neville. “Dumbledore’s Army!” he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort’s Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.

HIS. EYES..pngPeeta Mellark | The Hunger Games

M’KAY, listen UP.  My college/career Bible study got into a heated debate about Gale vs. Peeta and I’m pretty sure Team Peeta won because (1) he saved Katniss’s life more than once, (2) Gale basically killed Prim, and (3) he’s such a strong guy – physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I’ll always be Team Peeta.

“We were five. You had a plaid dress and your hair…it was in two braids instead of one. … So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She put you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, ever bird outside the windows fell silent. And right when your song ended, I knew -just like your mother- I was a goner.”

Faramir | Lord of the Rings

My siblings and I just recently introduced some friends to Lord of the Rings, and watching the extended versions all over again rekindled my love for this man.  He’s selfless, sacrificial, and willing to do anything for those he loves (even his deadbeat dad, who doesn’t love him at all).  Move over, Eowyn – I’d marry this guy so hard.

“Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?” she said. “And would you have your proud folk say of you: ‘There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Numenor to choose?”
“I would,” said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many.

Mac Campbell | Rose in Bloom

If you know who this guy is, bless you.  He’s a bookworm, super smart, and just the sweetest little pumpkin that there ever was.  The first time I read Eight Cousins, I knew I loved him, and Rose in Bloom just cemented my adoration for this guy.

“What have you decided to be, Mac?” asked Rose, as they went up the avenue side by side.
“A man first, and a good one if possible; after that, what God pleases.”
Something in the tone, as well as the words, made Rose look up quickly into Mac’s face, to see a new expression there.  It was indescribable; but she felt as if she had often done when watching the mists part suddenly, giving glimpses of some mountaintop, shining serene and high against the blue.
“I think you will be something splendid; for you really look quite glorified, walking under this arch of yellow leaves with the sunshine on your face,” she exclaimed, conscious of a sudden admiration never felt before; for Mac was the plainest of all the cousins.
“I don’t know about that; but I have my dreams and aspirations, and some of them are pretty high ones.  Aim at the best, you know, and keep climbing if you want to get on,” he said, looking at the asters with an inward sort of smile, as if he and they had some sweet secret between them. Stalinski | Teen Wolf

Here’s where my “no judgment” rule comes in.  Don’t ask how I found this show, why I started watching it, or how far into it I am.  Never mind, I’ll give you one answer – I started watching it because of Dylan O’Brien, whom I love, which is obviously the reason why I love Stiles.  He’s hilarious, loyal, and – as much as he denies it – heroic.

“The ten-year plan for making Lydia fall in love with me may have to stretch to fifteen, but the plan is definitely still in motion.”

Chandler Bing | F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I don’t love Chandler as much as I am him, which is probably why our marriage wouldn’t last a year, but I’d still take him.  I’ve always wanted to marry a funny guy, and Chandler is a million times that, plus he’s got a super-sweet heart and a genuinely caring spirit.  I’ll take it, even if it’d only last a little while.  (But then I’d give him back to Monica because they’re my otp.)

“I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be.  And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.  Monica, will you marry me?”

Shawn Hunter | Boy Meets World

SHAWN IS MY PRECIOUS BABY AND I WILL LOVE HIM ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE.  No kidding, I liked him in the first episode, but I really loved him around Episode 17 – The Fugitive (you know, the episode where he blows up a mailbox).  I just want to love and protect him and give him everything he ever deserved that the world never gave him.  Everything – and I do mean everything – went wrong for him, yet he emerged stronger than anyone thought possible.  GAH.

Cory: Okay, so after the prom, romance in the air, you and Angela, you’re gonna look in each other’s eyes, and…
Shawn: Me and Angela? I don’t know. Maybe. What do you think, we sat down and discussed it? How dorky do you think we are? What about you and Topanga?
Cory: We sat down and discussed it.

Captain-America-The-Winter-Soldier-Chris-Evans1.jpgSteve Rogers | Captain America

Chivalric hero from the ’40s with a super hot body?  Heck yes I would.

Peggy: You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?
Steve: I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with one.  Women aren’t exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.
Peggy: You must have danced…
Steve: Well, asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying.  And in the past few years, it just didn’t seem to matter that much.  Figured I’d wait.
Peggy: For what?
Steve: Right partner.

Sir Percy Blakeney | The Scarlet Pimpernel

The same exact sentence for the guy above could literally be used for Percy, so… heck yes I would again.  I own four (4) copies of The Scarlet Pimpernel, various paperback copies of the other books, and I think I’ve read ten out of the sixteen books (and El Dorado is the best).  I love this guy.

Had he but turned back then, and looked out once more on to the rose-lit garden, she would have seen that which would have made her own sufferings seem but light and easy to bear–a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and despair. Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone: the will was powerless. He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love and as soon as her light footstep had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade, where her tiny hand had rested last.

George Knightley | Emma

My first reading of this book (don’t hate me; I’m just now going through my classics phase) basically cemented my love for this guy – and also the fact that Jonny Lee Miller will always be the best Knightley fIGHT ME.

“I cannot make speeches, Emma:” he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing.—“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am.—You hear nothing but truth from me.—I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.—Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover.—But you understand me.—Yes, you see, you understand my feelings—and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”


Jack Pearson | This is Us

Jess who?  Move over, kid – Milo’s back and this time he’s even better than you.  Jack is literally the best male character on the small screen today.  Dad goals, husband goals, friend goals – just everything goals.  In the words of Rebecca, his oh-so-lucky wife, he’s “freaking Superman.”  I’ve loved gushing over him with my mom friends at the preschool playground and I know that I’ll still be gushing over him over the next few years as the show progresses.

“You know, when I was a little boy, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Adults always ask little kids that.  I never had a good answer – not ’til I was twenty-eight.  Until the day that I met you.  That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wanted to be the man that made you happy.”

What about you?  Any men you’d totally take?  I claim all of these guys, though… at least ’til I find an actual real-life male non-relative to obsess over.  😉

bad boyz.

(whenever i think of bad boys, i think of this video.  CLASSIC STUDIO C!)

My sister and I have recently gotten into Gilmore Girls.  Mild obsession there, totally justified because it’s just SO. GOOD.  The dialogue is witty and quick, there isn’t a flimsy, undeveloped character in sight, and the story is amazing.  Not to mention the ships.  *clutches heart*  Luke&Lorelai forevahhhh.

If you aren’t familiar with it, the story follows Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter Rory and the ups and downs that go with growing up in a small town and trying to make their way in the world.  With that comes a series of boyfriends for both women, starting with Max for Lorelai and Dean my precious, angry ray of sunshine for Rory.  Everything goes fine for Dean and Rory – they love each other, they’re adorable, they help each other…

Then Jess Mariano comes in town.


He’s super smart and loves to read, but hates going to school.  In the first episode he’s in, he steals Rory’s book, writes notes in the margins, and gives it back.  He’s dashingly handsome and knows it, rebellious, hates living in Stars Hollow, and basically wants to be anywhere else but where he is – and grouchily lets everybody know it.

My sister – and the entire female population of the show’s viewers, apparently – immediately fell in love.  Understandably, too.  He’s had a super hard life, a rough childhood, and nobody seems to see past his “bad boy” facade and try to figure out who he really is underneath that.  (And my sister didn’t fall in love with him because he was hot, although it was a contributing factor.  She loved him because nobody else seemed to, because she wanted to see him succeed, and because she thought he had potential.  Completely understandable.)

I, on the other hand, didn’t like him.  I liked Dean.  Dean was precious and sweet and may have had some anger problems and was a little controlling, but there was so much LOVE between him and Rory!

If you’ve seen the show, you know what happens.  (And if you haven’t, here be spoilers.)  For some reason, Rory becomes infatuated with this kid.  Dean notices and gets ticked.  Rory tries to keep their relationship going, but she’s too distracted by the new kid.  Eventually, Dean gives up and breaks up with Rory, culminating in one of the most intense throw-downs of all TV history, second only to their massive fight at the end of the third season.  Rory and Jess immediately get together.  Because he doesn’t know how to communicate, they work together, but not as well as they could have.

jess and rory.jpg

To be completely honest, I still don’t really like Jess.  (WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO CUTE, THOUGH?!)  I want him to be redeemed, but I can’t stand how rude he is to Rory.  My sister and I are at the end of the third season, and while I still don’t love him, he’s grown on me a little.  But STILL.  He’s gruff, rude, selfish, and does a lot of irresponsible things to get Rory’s attention.  My sister and I have had a lot of conversations about him and other bad boys.

There are so many of these “bad boy” characters on the screen today.  Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World, Dean Winchester from Supernatural*, Moriarty from Sherlock, Jack Harkness from Doctor Who*, Jayne Cobb (and, to an extent, Malcolm Reynolds) from Firefly, Han Solo and Kylo Ren from the Star Wars franchise, Loki from the Marvel movies, half the guys from The Outsiders, and Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter.  (Starred are characters/shows that I’m aware of and know enough about, but don’t watch.  Just fyi.)

These bad boy characters are suave, always have problems with authority, have a devil-may-care attitude about everything, are kind of cocky or disrespectful, usually don’t treat ladies well, get into fights easily, are played by super hot actors, and typically wear leather.  (Does Draco wear leather?  I need to look into this.)

Girls typically swoon over them faster than the “good guys” on the show, or – like me – find themselves inexplicably drawn to this character, regardless of their initial hatred.  I’ve become deeply interested with the bad boy characters because they’re so interesting.  A few of my favorites are Shawn, Mal, and the boys from The Outsiders.  (If you’ve never liked a bad boy character, congratulations.  You’re a special snowflake.)

shawn hunter

So why are bad boys so entrancing?  All of the above characteristics should be immediate turn-offs… shouldn’t they?  Why do girls fall in love with them so quickly?

Well, let’s look at Rory’s situation.  Jess was mysterious.  He had a troubled past.  (They all do, don’t they…)  More than that, he needed her help.  At least, she thought he did.

My theory is that Rory and other female heroines who fall in love with these types of guys have some kind of Superman complex.  If only they could save this guy, he’d be such a catch!  And sometimes they don’t even go that far – he’s just so hot they can’t help but want to save him, regardless of what he does in return.  They pity him because of his troubled past or because “he’s just misunderstood” or because he’s just so smooth and hot and looks good lounging against a street sign when he should be in school.  A friend also suggested that they promise adventure.


Most of all, women were born with an innate desire to nurture, and sometimes we pick the worst off.  This leads me to always fall in love with and cheer on the underdog.  Show me a slightly pathetic, deserves-everything-yet-has-nothing character and I’ll keep him for forever.  Neville Longbottom, Shawn Hunter, Johnny Cade – those are the kinds of guys my mothering nature leads me to.  For others, that may mean the bad boy character.  If you can heal or help him, you will.

I personally think that the bad boys often have the most potential.  If they can get out of that bad situation, they’ll stop at nothing to keep themselves from going back.  I’ll take a redeemed bad boy over an unchanging good guy any day.

So what do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?  Do you fall for bad boys or do you prefer good guys?

LIE: you have a terrible existence if you don’t {xyz}.


A few months ago, a good friend introduced me to the show Friends.  Well, I need to back up.  Back when it was on TV, my parents used to watch it after they put us to bed and I would sneak out of my bed and watch it from the balcony.  They probably knew I was there, but I never got caught.  *sunglasses emoji*  I officially started watching it from Season One, Episode One back in May… and I’m hooked.

I recently had an almost-meltdown when I found out that my library didn’t have the season I was supposed to start next (seriously, what library buys the first six seasons of a TV show but skips over the fourth season?!), which resulted in taking total advantage of the Netflix free trial my mom got while we were at WITAlive and blowing through the episodes as quickly as I can.  (Don’t worry, I haven’t totally thrown away all of my free time – I’m using them as incentives to get my school done and it. is. working.)

As I fell in love with the show and the characters, I wondered why I hadn’t seen it before. Obviously, I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody under, say, eighteen, and I’m glad I didn’t watch it until now because I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much.  (I’m three steps behind all of the characters because I’m just about to graduate college and figure out what to do with my life, while they’re a few years out of college and still don’t have it all together.  It gives me so much hope.)  Still, I was so happy that I was finally able to understand references to one of America’s greatest sitcoms (“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”) and enjoy all of the jokes that the generation before me enjoyed.

I typically like to savor shows and books (which is probably why I still haven’t finished Boy Meets World), but for a while with Friends, I kind of felt like I had to catch up.  It felt like the entire world had seen this show… except me.  I love watching episodes in between intense study sessions and as rewards for submitting papers and reading classic novels that I struggled to get through (classics aren’t my cup of tea, tbh, but I’m trying to develop a taste for them) and even just to destress after a rough day.  However, I think part of my (mild) bingeing of the show had something to with the fact that I felt so behind.  I wasn’t pressured by my friend to watch it after she said, “You haven’t watched it yet?!” – instead, I pressured myself.

I do this a lot, especially with books, shows, music, movies.  Just the other day, I incredulously said to a friend, “Wait, you haven’t. read. Harry. Potter?!” even though I hadn’t read them for myself a year ago.  Oops.

Especially with more popular things, I think people pressure others into doing stuff – almost guilt-tripping them into thinking they’re missing out on something because they haven’t experienced it yet.  “Wait, you haven’t played Pokemon Go?!”  “You stopped watching Downton Abbey?!”  “You didn’t like Fault in Our Stars?!”  “Wait, you’ve never had a pumpkin spice latte?!”  “You haven’t seen all of Sherlock – or read the books?!  AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FAN?!”  I’ve had all of these things said to me.  And, yes, I’m guilty of all of them.  I haven’t played Pokemon Go, I stopped watching DA in the middle of the third season (for no reason in particular except the fact that it’s a soap opera and I have enough drama in my own life), I don’t love TFIOS, I’ve never had a PSL, I haven’t seen the last season of Sherlock or read all of the stories.

Does that make me a terrible person, though?


Listen, just because somebody hasn’t seen or done a popular thing, it doesn’t make them a lesser person.  Not doing something doesn’t invalidate someone’s existence.

We can’t do it all.  So why do we pressure ourselves and others?

Just like I thought I was “behind” because I hadn’t seen Friends or still haven’t seen all of Gilmore Girls (and will probably binge on that with my sisters over the next few months in preparation for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life) or haven’t been to ComicCon or DragonCon or GeekyCon, other people feel the same way.  We’re pressured by society to experience everything that’s popular, especially music and movies and TV shows and books, but we’re also pressured to get off our rear ends and do something because all of our friends’ Instagram feeds are full of pictures of mountains and iconic places in foreign countries.

Our lives are expected to look like everyone else’s.  In Friends, all of the characters have finished college (except maybe Phoebe), gotten a job, and found an apartment.  That’s what society expects of us twenty-somethings.  And that’s great and all of those things should be desired.  But I’m almost twenty-two and I’m still living at home while finishing my degree.  I know friends in their mid-twenties who are still living at home, too, and are getting higher degrees or don’t have “real” jobs.  And that’s okay.

Just because something is the norm or part of pop culture doesn’t mean it’s automatically a part of everyone’s lives.  And discovering that that thing isn’t a part of someone else’s life doesn’t make them any lesser of a person – and it doesn’t make you any more of a person because it’s part of yours.

My existence isn’t lesser because I’m not seeing the world like some of my friends are, just like some of my friends don’t have a less fulfilled life because they’re not getting a degree like I am.

Do. not. guilt-trip someone just because they’re not interested in what you or a lot of the world is interested in.  If they want to stay at home and lay on the floor and just listen to music, let them do it!  If they want to use the money they earn to travel, let them do it!

Obviously you should compromise with your friends sometimes and obviously you should get out of your comfort zone and do stuff (or sometimes just relax and forego doing stuff). But it’s never okay to make someone feel bad for what they are or aren’t interested in.

More than that, maybe this friend is on to something.  If they’ll let you, lie down on the floor with them.  Ask if you can go on their next road trip with them.  You may be surprised and find yourself interested in the stuff they like to do, too.

So what do you think?  Have you felt pressured to do something by your friends or society, or have you pressured someone else?  Did you end up liking it?  Did they?  Leave a comment and let’s talk!

{This blog post is sponsored in part by my college coursework, which was gracious enough to be easy and let me finish it by ten in the morning – something that hasn’t happened since I was in elementary school.  THANK YOU.}

my summer bucket list.

I think summer’s finally here.  It’s hot outside, schools are letting out, and my dad’s summer intern just arrived.  (He’s an old family friend so we’re planning on having a BLAST.)

I haven’t planned anything for the summer yet, and I didn’t think I was going to.  After all, I’m schooling through the summer, so why should I, if I won’t have a ton of free time?

WRONG.  It’s summer, and summer means FUN.  (At least, that’s what I keep telling myself during study breaks.)

summer bucket list instagram.pngSO I’ve decided to make a summer bucket list, full of a bunch of things I want to do this summer. I took a picture of my list and posted it on Instagram (see above) and thought of a few more in addition to all of the above things, such as:

  • Finish a TV show (Boy Meets World, which I’m like six episodes from the end of but have put it off for two. years. because I don’t want it to end *sob*; Gilmore Girls, in preparation for Seasons, DUH; Friends and/or Firefly and/or Downton Abbey)
  • Earn fifteen credits (which I think is gonna happen and that’s AWESOME because I’m SO DONE WITH COLLEGE LOL)
  • Read at least one non-fiction book a month (I read a ton of fiction and thought I’d expand my palate a little this year, starting with Mere Christianity and If You Find This Letter)
  • Finish reading the Old Testament (I was trying to finish this last year and it didn’t get done for whatever reason, and I want to finish it up so I can get back to studying Jesus’s life and Paul’s letters)
  • More screen-free time (my school and writing is all on the computer, not to mention Pinterest and Tumblr and my blog and all of that wonderful time-sucking nonsense, so to say I spend a lot of time on the computer is kind of accurate and I kind of hate it and want to spend more time off it this summer by going on walks and coloring and reading more)
  • Budgeting my time better (I’m nannying two full days during the summer, instead of the usual two half days, so it’s going to be interesting trying to juggle school and the little munchkins.  I had them yesterday and we went to Chick-fil-A and the library and it was so. much. fun… even though I didn’t get any school done.  Oops.)
  • Edit The Art of Letting Go (I just got some really good feedback on it, and I’m really looking forward to working on it again and I’m hoping it’ll be done by the end of the summer!)
  • ENJOY THE SUMMER (It’s already pretty hot here in Georgia, but I’m really enjoying it.  Last week, I sat out on the back porch and tried to get a tan and it was really nice.  I’m looking forward to doing that a little more over the summer.)

What are your summer plans?  Doing Camp NaNo (or some other camp)?  Schooling through the summer like me (*sob*)?  I have three friends who are sisters and are going to Europe over the summer which you know is cool but it’s whatever.  Any big plans like that?  (Actually, if you have big plans, don’t tell me.  I’m too jealous.  Because it’s freaking EUROPE.  Ugh.  Please, somebody tell me you’re schooling through the summer.  PLEASE.)

twelve couples i’ll always be in love with.

First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day!

I thought for a good five minutes about what I wanted to write about today.  I usually do a post on contentment and singleness, but I think I’ve said all I need to on the subject.  (See those posts here, here, and here – all of which, I realize after re-reading all of them, bemoan the infamous Valentine’s Day Banquet of ’13 – LOL.  They’re actually pretty decent, too, so if you want to hear my thoughts on contentment, they’re worth a read.)

But today is not about being single.  Today is about relationships.  And if we’re not in relationships, we can at least obsess over those who are, right?

twelve couples i'll always be in love with.jpg

Today, I’ve decided to write about book and movie couples that are in love and that I am in love with (because that’s way less depressing than dwelling on how single I am, lol).  (Just kidding; I’m actually totally content right now.  So yay.)

These aren’t couples who are just cute together (because I could write about cute fictional couples for dayzzz).  These are couples who have stuck together through thick and thin and love each other despite the trials they go through.  They fight for their relationship and defy the odds.  They may not have fallen in love at first sight, but their relationship lasted because of the circumstances that brought them together and kept them together.

In no particular order (cuz you guys should know by now that I hate picking favorites), here are the twelve fictional couples that have basically defined all of my relationship goals.

Honorable Mentions:
Lulu and Liam {The Little Women Letters}
Mac and Rose {Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom}
Flynn and Rapunzel {Tangled}
Cath and Levi {Fangirl}
Katniss and Peeta {The Hunger Games Trilogy}
Kathleen and Joe {You’ve Got Mail}
Alexander and Eliza {Hamilton and also a real-life couple}
Roy and Dale {the Roy Rogers movies and also a real-life couple}

(And Clintasha would be right at the top but Joss woN’T STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIPS.  GAH.  *Hulks out*)

Shirtbert {Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe} | Anne of Green Gables


These two.  GOSH, these two.  Ever since they first met in Anne of Green Gables, I knew they’d fall in love.  Except Anne was so blind to how much Gil loved her (and she was so deluded about what love really is) that it didn’t happen for a while.  *shakes head*  Silly Anne.  I mean, the guy gave up his position at a school for her!  He also saved her in a boat and NUMEROUS other amazing things.  Together, they make such a great couple.

“Anne, you have tricked something out of that imagination of yours that you call romance. Have you forgotten how he gave up the Avonlea school for you so that you could stay here with me? He picked you up everyday in his carriage so that you could study your courses together. Don’t toss it away for some ridiculous ideal that doesn’t exist.”

Copanga {Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence} | Boy Meets World


OKAY.  I’ve been a huge fan of Boy Meets World for about two and a half years now (although it seems like longer) and their relationship is just so. many. goals.  They were friends for years and years before they got into an official relationship in the second season.  Their relationship withstood high school, the first two years of college, three break-ups (not including Topanga’s parents’ divorce).  Fourteen years later, in Girl Meets World, they’re still together and just as much in love as they were when they first started dating.

“Over half of all marriages fail.  It’s even worse for people our age.”
“Every statistic that you throw at me is going to be about other people.  I don’t care about other people – I care about you and me!  If every marriage failed except one, I’d guarantee that one would be ours.”

Laurie x Jo {Theodore Lawrence and Josephine March} | Little Women


Okay, this is the only couple in this entire post who didn’t actually end up together.  (Jo and I may agree on everything else, okay, and I’m sorry, but I’ll ship this ’til the day I die.)  From the start, their friendship just screamed “ROMANCE!” and it seriously irked me that they didn’t end up together.  Because they totally should have.  They were so alike in so many ways, and they may have fought a lot, but what couple doesn’t?!  Ugh.  Anyway, I ship them like there’s no tomorrow.

“I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you?”  (THAT’S WHAT I SAID.)

Knighthouse {Emma Woodhouse and George Knightley} | Emma


Emma is my favorite Jane Austen story because the love interests shaped each other more than any other of her couples.  (Did Darcy have the influence on Lizzie that Knightley did on Emma?  NO.  I rest my case.)  I love stories that do this so. much.  Why is a person in your life romantically if not to mold you into someone better?  Food for thought.  If ever a couple was destined to be together, it was Emma and Knightley.  Even though he’s like seventeen years older than her.

“So, tell me, have I no chance of succeeding?  My dearest Emma, for that is what you always have been and you always will be, my most beloved Emma.  I cannot make speeches.  If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more, but you know what I am.  I have lectured you and scolded you and you have born it as no other woman would have.”

(I also desperately love Cher and Josh from Clueless, and their relationship is defined so well and I love them and baby Paul Rudd is just the sweetest little cinnamon roll.)

Julie x Eric // Julia x Paul {Julie and Eric Powell, and Julia and Paul Child} | Julie and Julia

Julie and Julia.jpg

These two couples are new additions to my stock of Relationship Goals, but I knew they had been added the first time I watched Julie and Julia.  I love the distinction between the two relationships!  Julie and Eric are blissful newlyweds, and Julia and Paul have been married for several years but they’re even more in love than when they first got married.  When I first watched the movie, I told my sister, “Julie and Eric have what I want my newlywed married life to look like, and Julia and Paul have what I want my married-for-thirty-years married life to look like.”  #goals

“You are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life.”

Steggy {Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter} | Captain America: The First Avenger


Er. mah. gursh.  This is definitely the most tragic couple in my entire list.  They loved each other so much and they didn’t end up together (not married, at least) and that just breaks my heart.  Peggy loved Steve just based on his character, before he was the insanely muscular dude he is halfway through the movie, and if that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.  As soon as Steve said his “I’m waiting for the right partner” line, I was hooked.  (And so was Peggy.)  If ever a couple deserved to be together, it’s Steve and Peggy.

“I’m gonna need a rain check on that dance.”
“All right. A week next Saturday.  At The Stork Club.”
“You’ve got it.”
“Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?”
“You know, I still don’t know how to dance.”
“I’ll show you how. Just be there.”

Anastasia x Dimitri {Anastasia Romanova and Dimitri Sudayev} | Anastasia


When Anastasia and Dimitri first meet, they’re both really just using each other to accomplish their personal goals.  It’s hate at first sight.  When Anastasia and Dimitri have their first angered exchange (“Do you really think I’m royalty?” “You know I do!” “THEN STOP BOSSING ME AROUND.”) and Anastasia sticks her tongue out at him, I’m always just like, “Ohhhh, you two are gonna have it so bad.”  And they do.  They’re always slightly at odds, but in an endearing way.  In the end, Dimitri sacrifices his ambition to find the lost Russian princess for Anastasia (who, spoiler, is the lost princess) and they end up eloping and it’s just beautiful.

“That, uh, that dress looks really good on you.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah. I mean, it looked nice on the hanger but it’s even better on you. Y-you, you should wear it!”
“I am wearing it!”
“Oh, oh yes, I was just, um, trying to give you a… a…”

Robin x Marian {Robin Hood and Lady Marian Fitzwalter} | Robin Hood (1932)


I grew up with the 1932 version of Robin Hood (here’s the trailer if you haven’t seen it), and I’ve always loved the relationship that Robin and Marian have.  There’s just something about a classic tale of the love between a knight and his lady that I fall for every time. She’s hesitant at first, and he’s madly in love at first sight.  He wins her love by being the dashing hero he is, and she falls for him.  (And then, in the original tale, he dies.  I like this version better – they ride off into the sunset and it’s wonderful.)  It’s just a classic tale of love and I love it muchly.

“Tell me: when you are in love, is it hard to think of anybody but one person?”
“Yes, indeed, m’lady, and sometimes it’s a bit of trouble sleeping.”
“I know! But it’s a nice kind of not sleeping!”
“Yes. And it affects your appetite, too. Not that I’ve noticed it’s done that to you, ‘cept when he was in the dungeon waiting to be hanged.”
“And does it make you want to be with him all the time?”
“Yes. And when he’s with you, your legs are as weak as water. Now, tell me, m’lady: when he looks at you, do you feel a kind of pricky feeling, like goosey pimples running all up and down your spine?”
{Marian blushes}
“Then there’s not a doubt of it!”
“A doubt of what?”
{Robin swings in through the window where he was eavesdropping} “That you’re in love!”

George x Mary {George Bailey and Mary Hatch} | It’s a Wonderful Life


I’ve been in love with George and Mary ever since I watched It’s a Wonderful Life for the first time (which was so many years ago that I can’t even remember when it was).  We watch the movie every Christmas Eve and I’ve always loved watching George and Mary’s relationship start to build from their childhood to thirty years (and four kids) later.  They’re still so in love and love each other so much despite all of the hardships they go through.  Their trials bring them closer together and idk but that’s what I want more than anything else.  #actualrelationshipgoals

“What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”
“I’ll take it. Then what?”
“Well, then you can swallow it, and it’ll all dissolve, see… and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair… am I talking too much?”

Percy x Marguerite {Sir Percival Blakeney and Marguerite St. Just} | The Scarlet Pimpernel


M’KAY.  The first time I read The Scarlet Pimpernel (and then binge-read most of the other Scarlet Pimpernel books), I knew I’d ship Percy and Marguerite ’til my dying days.  And, honestly, their relationship is one of the most brutal that I’ve ever seen.  Marguerite loves him even when he thinks she betrayed the St. Cyrs.  And then (in the book, at least) he risked his life to save her (just like he does for others *sheds a single tear*), and it always makes me cry so many happy tears.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Sir Percy.”
“This beholder is enchanted.  If I were to tell you that I adore you, would you have me do so stintingly?”
Adore me?”
“Or would you have me declare it as I feel it?  With all my heart?”
“But you can’t be serious – you know nothing about me!”
“Exactly so.  Which is why I yearn to know everything.  You must tell me all about yourself, in every detail, but oh so slowly, so very slowly, so that it takes a very, very long time.”
“I don’t know whether you’re mad or…”
“Desperately in love?  ‘Tis all the same.”

Remadora {Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks} | Harry Potter


This one’s a new one, too, but it’s impacted me just as much as the others.  When we first meet Remus Lupin, he feels worthless and unlovable.  Tonks thinks otherwise, and loves him despite what he is.  He protests, but she loves him even more.  Remus and Tonks’ love taught me that there will always be someone to love you, despite the circumstances and despite everything you think that’s wrong with you.  *cries many tears*

“You see!” said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. “She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!”
“It’s different,” said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. “Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely-”
“But I don’t care either, I don’t care!” said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin’s robes and shaking them. “I’ve told you a million times….”
And the meaning of Tonk’s Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all.

Finally, to all of the above couples, here are some wise words of advice from Josh Dun.

happy birthday to moi.


happy birthday to me… and this thing i’m holding.

Wellsies, looks like I’ve finally made it to another birthday.


Which birthday, you ask?  My twenty-first.  I guess it’s pretty special.  I mean, I can finally drink legally now, which I’ll probably take advantage of, like… once a year.  (I’ve tasted wine and beer before before and they’re both just… no.  I’m interested in trying champagne, though, which will happen tonight – YAY.)

I’ve done so much this year that I can hardly believe it was a YEAR ago that I made that Twenty One Before Twenty One list!!!

And, speaking of, let’s take a look at it and see how I did.  (I forgot to look through this or print it out to make sure I did the things.  Whoops.)

  • Ride a roller-coaster – LOL.  Yeah, that didn’t happen.  I didn’t get the opportunity to do it, either.
  • Go to Disney – Lol again.  We didn’t get to go, but I did drive by it twice (and I’ll get to that later).
  • Finish writing The Art of Letting Go (and immediately start editing it) – Check!  Hey, I actually did this!  I’m super proud of myself, so yay.  I’m almost done editing it, too (just starting chapter ten of eighteen), so that’s farther along that I thought I’d be.
  • Try to publish The Art of Letting Go… via the traditional route (aka with an agent and through a publishing house) – Haven’t started trying yet, but I’m getting there.  I’m researching, so…?
  • Start a third novel or finish Sneakers and Hot Fudge Sundaes – I’m gonna say that I did this one because I’ve started plotting my third novel in my mind and on a secret Pinterest board.  I can’t give any details out, but I’ll say that it’s gonna be good.  Hopefully.
  • Reach ninety credits in my degree (Senior Status!) – ALMOST!!!  I’m at 75 credits, but I’ll hopefully be at 81 by Christmas.  YAHO.
  • Do NaNo at least twice – LOL.  Yeah, that didn’t happen.
  • Go see a touring Broadway musical – Nope, but I did see a musical at Reinhardt the other day and it was fantastic.
  • Participate in a play – Nope.  My sister did, though, and I’ve got my sights set on auditions for another play next year.
  • Read sixty books – I’m at 59 for the whole year so far (starting from January), and I know I read a ton after my birthday last year, so that happened.
  • Attempt some fanfiction (Eva, you’ll have to help me on this one) – This one definitely happened.  I did one as a Christmas present last year, and I’ve got another on the way.
  • Learn a few really hard pieces on the piano – Nope.
  • Practice violin more – LOL.
  • Look Up more – I’m gonna give myself this one because I do feel like I put down my phone a lot (even though I got an iPhone for Christmas last year) and enjoyed life.  This year has been incredible, and I’ve tried not to miss out on it.  I’ve read a lot, written a lot, and thought a lot.
  • Attempt a fanvid – This one only happened in my mind.
  • Organize a dance – I don’t know what I was thinking with this one.
  • Write more film reviewsDoes my Top Five Christian Movies post count?  I think it does.  I’ll check this one off.
  • Play in more weddings – Nope.  I haven’t played in a single wedding since last November, but that’s okay.
  • Read the Bible more – I got on a schedule of reading my Bible every night and it’s really helped me focus on God more.  Even if I lose track of Him during the day, it’s good to bring everything back to Him at night.
  • Pray more – I’m not going to check this one off because I think I could always do better with this.  I don’t pray as much as I’d like, and I know my relationship with the Lord suffers because of it.
  • Learn to love God more – Same with this one.  No matter how much I do and how much I fall in love with Jesus, I feel like I can always do more.  The trials I’ve been through this year have brought me to my knees more than I can count and I’m grateful that the Lord has brought me closer to Him through all of it.

7/21 isn’t great, but it’s not too shabby either, considering half of these were put on here on a whim.  XD  (But I did discover Twenty One Pilots, so that needs to be a thing.)

However, if I’d known half the things I would do this past year when I wrote this list, I would’ve given myself a lot more slack (which is why I’m not doing a Twenty-Two Before Twenty-Two list).  Because I did a lot.

For starters, I traveled with my three siblings to Indianapolis for a conference.  ALL BY OURSELVES.  NO PARENTS.  It was a beautiful thing.  (Of course, I only drove like five hours total because the hour I was able to drive on the way back was through the Tennessee mountains with eighteen-wheelers LITERALLY DRIVING ME NUTS.)  (“Driving.”  Lol.  Pun intended.)

Also, I took an entire road trip by myself.  By myself, people.  Do I need to emphasize that?  I will.  BY MYSELF.  I drove almost eight hours round-trip on roads I wasn’t comfortable with in a state I’d hardly ever been to before to go babysit kids I’d never met before for an entire weekend, all with a 12-year-old girl I’d never met before (who was asleep the entire way back).  That’s probably the most insane thing I’ve done this year.  (And I drove past Disney twice.  Talk about battle of wills.)

Plus, I went camping with my sister and a friend all by ourselves.  For an entire weekend!  And our family left our church, which was super hard, but I won’t get into that now.

Anyway, all that to say… I’ve had a busy year, full of adulting like crazy.  (For example, I just rescheduled a test from LSU and got a proctor lined up, aaaaand I just sent heart-eyed emojis to my sister in reply to a picture of her full gas tank gauge.  Can’t really get more adult than that (unless I have kids which, LOL, ain’t gonna happen for a while).)

So, I’m entering the next year of my life cautiously optimistic.  I have no idea what’s gonna happen (I know that we’re gonna build a house, though, which will be an adventure, and that we have to find a church, which will also be an adventure…), but I’m super excited.

And you all get to experience it, too, because I’ll be blogging along the way.


the behind-the-scenes writing tag.

(I just pronounced the word “tag” as “taeg” in my mind because I heard someone say it that way once and now I can’t remember who it was.  LOL.)

Because I recently watched a movie starring Harrison Ford (the remake of Sabrina, also starring Julia Ormond and Greg Kinnear), Eva tagged me with the “The Behind-the-Scenes Writing Tag.”  (See her answers here.)  I actually haven’t done a tag in a while (the reason being that I keep forgetting about them, lol; keep tagging me, guys!), so this should be fun!  [Edit: Duh, I just did that movie tag.  *facepalm*  My life… Ugh.]


Is there a certain snack you like to eat while writing?

Yes, but it’s slightly embarrassing and stereotypical.  : D  Usually, right before I’m about to start writing, I put some chocolate chips in a cup and freeze them and I make some iced sweet tea (my very own recipe that a friend says I’d make millions off of).  I get my Pinterest and random internet browsing out of the way while the chocolate chips are freezing and the tea is brewing.  I really don’t drink coffee unless I’m writing in the morning because even though I love coffee *takes a sip* it honestly doesn’t really have an effect on me.  Sad but true.  (I don’t usually write in the morning, though.  If I put off school ’til later in the day, even during NaNo, I won’t get it done.)  So all that to say that I eat frozen chocolate chips and drink iced super-duper-sweet tea while I write.  *Kyle voice*  GAHHHH!  MY POWERS ARE INCREASING!


When do you normally write? Night, afternoon, or morning?

Kinda just answered this in my last answer, but I’ll elaborate.  I write best later in the day.  I’ve been working on getting all of my school done early on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can write at my nannying job, but I feel guilty most of the time for writing instead of doing school, so it doesn’t really work.  I usually do it around four in the afternoon or after dinner.  (During NaNo, though, it’s all over the place.  I’ve gotten up at six in the morning to write and I’ve stayed up ’til two writing.  So.  Yeah.)


Where do you write?

I can write basically everywhere, but my go-to place is in my room.  Just wherever I can get away or wherever it’s quiet.  A few weeks ago, when half my family was gone for a week (overlapping when my dad was gone for a weekend) and it was just me, my younger brother, and my younger sister at the house (SWEET BLESSED BLISS), I moved my writing station to the kitchen and sat on a bar stool for almost the entire weekend.  It. Was. So. Awesome.  I’ve written at the library, too, and I think that’s my favorite place to write.  I’ve also written at a Starbucks with a friend and then went to her house afterward.  (July Camp NaNo of last year.  I had to write 10k in three days in order to finish on time.  I did it.  *fistpump*)


How often do you write a new novel?

Oh gosh.  Seeing as I’ve only technically finished one… yeah.  I finished writing The Art a few months ago (see this post), and I’ve been re-writing ever since.  (I called it editing at first, but it’s not.  I’m taking out chunks and adding chunks and re-writing backstories.  Re-writing.)  I’ve done NaNo three times, though, and jump-started three novels with it – Becoming Nikki (*shameless plug* available at Amazon! *end shameless plug*), Sneakers and Hot Fudge Sundaes (*sniff* my poor children whom I left all alone in their final chapter… gosh, I’m such a bad writer), and The Art of Letting Go (which is honestly the best thing I’ve ever written and it’s only getting better and I LOVE IT).


Do you listen to music while you write?

DUH.  I listen to music all the time, no matter what I’m doing.  (Listening to Sleeping at Last right now, actually.)  My soundtrack for my writing varies, though.  While I was writing Becoming Nikki, it was all over the place.  Mainly Josh Groban, but a little Tenth Ave and other random Christian stuff, too.  While I wrote The Art, I almost exclusively listened to Night Visions by Imagine Dragons.  If I can’t focus because I’m singing the music instead of actually writing, I’ll listen to soundtracks and movie scores, though.


What do you write on? Laptop or paper?

Laptop!  When I got back into writing when I was fourteen, I wrote in notebooks while we drove around looking for a house to buy (bad memories there…).  I still have a dent in the middle finger of my right hand because I pressed down so hard all the time.  After my hand started cramping up, I knew something needed to change.  Then I started writing on my dad’s old laptop, which worked really well because it didn’t have internet.  (Sometimes I long for those days again.  HA.)  In 2013, I bought my own laptop so I could do my college work on it, and I’ve been using it ever since.  *pats laptop*  I used to always carry around a notebook of story ideas with me, but then I started writing down my ideas in my phone and emailing it to myself every now and then.  It works.  : )


Is there a special ritual you have before or after you write?

Besides my chocolate-freezing, tea-making, and Pinterest-browsing?  Not really.  When I’m working on The Art, though, I like to look through the Pinterest board I made for it so I start to remember what the story’s supposed to feel like.  (Pinterest is one of my favorite writing resources, guys.  Not even kidding.)  Sometimes, if I’m working on an especially hard scene or one that could potentially have an impact on someone, I’ll pray for guidance and the right words.


i don’t care who you are or how you feel about the harry potter books. if you’re a writer, jo’s story should inspire you like almost nothing else can.

What do you do to get into the mood to write?

(Golly Pete, I really should read all of these questions before I start answering them…)  Like I said in my last answer, I usually browse my Pinterest board, looking for the inspiration for the story.  Sometimes I’ll watch videos and procrastinate for a while.  (Not recommended.)  It’s very rare that I’ll go back and read what I’ve previously written – and I NEVER do it during NaNo.  (Protip: Never ever ever go back to what you’ve written the day before and try to edit.  You’re wasting precious writing time and you’ll only mess with your word count.  Get all 50k words down before you edit.  You’ll thank me later.)


from ‘fangirl’ by rainbow rowell. golly pete i love this book.

What is always near the place you write?

A buncha junk.  : D  My laptop, drink, maybe a snack, headphones, and whatever clutter is already on my desk or my writing space.  I also have a few writing books and notebooks nearby that are handy when I need inspiration.  I usually have everything I need on the computer, though.  (I’m able to be more mobile that way.)


Do you have a reward system for your word count?

I do!  During NaNo, I usually give myself a reward whenever I reach my daily word count – usually an episode of a TV show (lots of Boy Meets World gets watched) or I reward myself with a book.  Or sometimes the reward is just that refreshing feeling that I did it.  When I’m not doing NaNo, though, it varies.  Whenever I get a chapter edited or actually sit down to write (which, sadly enough, doesn’t happen as often as I’d like *shakes fist* STUPID COLLEGE), I’m rewarded with that amazing feeling of assurance that I’m a writer instead of just someone who writes occasionally.


*coughhack* i’m finding this to be especially true with the main character of ‘the art’ who isn’t a christian and, therefore, makes some decisions that i wouldn’t. just because i write it doesn’t mean i condone it.

Is there anything about your writing process that others might not know about?

Umm… Does anyone know that I pull faces while I write?  It’s embarrassing when I’m in a public place, but I do it at home all the time.  I’ll either do the face or emotion that I’m trying to convey in order to write it better, or I’ll start singing along with whatever I’m listening to.  I do all the voices in my head as I write, so some of it must get out on my face.  HA.  #I’mAWriter

Well, that’s all the questions!  If you’re reading this somewhere in your house, you’re tagged.  (As always, share the link in the comments section, or, if you don’t have a blog, answer the questions in the comment box.)


P.S. Before any of you guys ask, no, I’m not doing NaNo this year.  (Cry all the tears.)  I set a goal of finishing the second draft of The Art before Christmas this year (and I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE YAYYYYYY!!!) so since I’m only halfway done with it, I can’t rationalize starting another novel and spending all of my free time on it instead of The Art (even though I have an idea about what my next one’s going to be about… shhh).

P.P.S. Speaking of Christmas… stay tuned for a blog series centering around my favorite holiday and the most wonderful time of the year.  ; )

actively waiting.

actively waitingTwo years ago, my older sister and I, along with a group of amazingly talented friends, organized a Valentine’s Day Banquet for the couples in our church, complete with food, games, and dancing. For the weeks before the banquet, I was neck-deep in love songs, romantic ideas, and all the stress that comes with planning something like that. The banquet was to be held the day after Valentine’s Day, so my Valentine’s Day was full of last-minute preparations, including all of the little tweaks and details that would, hopefully, make the night more romantic for the moms and dads who hadn’t had been able to enjoy a night to themselves since their last child was born.

Needless to say, it did not bode well for my mind.

dd3701a7cbb98485633a81a8e81f5d07Throughout the entire day, I couldn’t stop thinking about my pathetic love life. How single I felt. How I wished I could participate in something like that. How I couldn’t wait for the day when all of my dreams would be fulfilled with my marriage to the man of my dreams.

Looking back, all I can think is, “YIKES!”

I had sunk so deep in pity for myself and longing for something I didn’t have that I couldn’t think of anything else. I could only focus on myself and my nonexistent love life.

How incredibly selfish and immature is that?!

I had completely forgotten the rules I had made for myself regarding my future marriage – rules that included standards for myself about purity of mind.

0c2fc37a6df4536d46a3ca87e5c492b3I think that this is what happens with a lot of Christian girls. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that we get caught up in the hype of Valentine’s Day. No matter how strong our convictions regarding this area of our lives are, we’re still humans and we still have desires. We, as girls, have an especially hard time with stuff like this because we’re so emotional. (The commercialism that surrounds Valentine’s Day that says you need a significant other to be happy doesn’t help much, either.)

So how do we get like this? More importantly, is there a way out of it?

Yep. And the short answer is: Through Jesus.

I’m not going to give you a “Three Steps to Contentment”-type blog post. Partially because I haven’t found the three steps and partially because I don’t think it can be narrowed down to three steps. (Although I’d love to hear what they are, if you know them!)

Let’s face it, the Christian life is hard. Jesus didn’t say it would be easy – in fact, He said to take up our crosses and follow Him. We make it hard because we feel entitled to things that we don’t have – things God hasn’t blessed us with, AND PROBABLY FOR A REASON. In my case, I didn’t have a boyfriend/significant other/whatever because I wasn’t ready. I was too immature to realize that. (Now I realize it. Boy, do I realize it.)

For a lot of single people, today will be hard. That’s just how it is sometimes.

But it’s not how it has to be.

d993ed1039673f6fac531b03ef68fff0If we really think about it, how are we desiring to be fulfilled today? Is it a shallow desire that the world tells us is love – something like 50 Shades of Cray-Cray, maybe? Or is it something far deeper than any man could ever complete in us – the true desire for fulfillment in Christ?

This is what I had to discover – or, rather, what God had to reveal to me.

So often, it looks like what the world has to offer is better than what God has. After all, what the world offers is tangible. We can feel a man’s arms around us. We can look into his eyes. We can audibly hear the sweet nothings he whispers into our ears.

But we won’t be content.

We’ll want more and more and more – and that’s mostly due to the way we’re designed. We’re engineered to desire a husband, and we always want more. And if we look for fulfillment in men, we will never be satisfied.

b00ecde4438bff719b19247a0082d0c6Last year, I spent my Valentine’s Day riding in a car… all day. My dad had gone on a business trip to Ohio and had decided to take us with him. I introduced my siblings to Boy Meets World that week while we were stuck in the hotel, so, obviously, we watched it the entire way back. (We blazed through an entire season in a week. By the end, they were addicted. *fistpump*) All that to say, my Valentine’s Day last year was drastically different than the one before, and in more ways than one. I was still single. But you know what? I didn’t mind.

As I watched the love story unfold between Cory and Topanga, I realized that I was content. It wasn’t that I didn’t want what Cory and Topanga had – no, quite the opposite.

I wanted what they had, and nothing less.

I wanted a pure relationship, with one person, saving myself for him even as we dated. I wanted a strong, intelligent, funny man like Cory – and I was going to be patient as I waited for him. Not only that, but I knew I needed to try to make myself into the kind of woman a Cory would want, too.

So what changed?

I had found my fulfillment, and not in a guy – but in Christ. The desire for a husband was still there, but I wasn’t giving into it and letting myself sink into self-pity. I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. I knew God hadn’t given me a significant other because there were things I needed to do before that could happen.

343d188c9b636eb4a474a70421c4a260I’m not trying to lift myself up here. I’m just trying to tell you all that there is another way to spend today. The Bible says “ask and you shall receive.” So ask God for peace, contentment, and fulfillment in Him while you’re waiting. And then go out and do something with your life. We were given these precious years of being single for a reason. We can do so much now, while we’re not married.

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Cor. 7:34-35)

Now, while we’re single, we have the amazing opportunity to live with undivided devotion to Jesus. It’s ultimately up to us decide how to use these single years, but I can guarantee that you’ll find complete fulfillment in Christ if you’ll use them to glorify Him.

This looks different for everybody. You don’t have to be out in the streets all day, passing out tracts and giving your money to homeless people… but that might be what some choose to do. You also don’t have to stay at home and play Cinderella every day while watching after your younger siblings… but that might be what some choose to do.

5996f5165dc50b8539a962474ba967f2Your single years will look the way you decide to make them look – and they’ll look even better if you decide to obey the calling God has placed on your heart and do His will for your time spent being single. If you obey Him, He will bless you with more contentment and fulfillment than you could ever receive from a guy. That’s the pure and simple truth. You’ll have bad days, and you’ll have better days. But you will find your fulfillment in Him and this amazing capacity to be able to wait for His best while you’re doing His will.

It’s completely worth it – trust me. I’m not content all the time, and there are days when I want a deeper relationship with a guy – ANY guy – more than I want a relationship with Jesus. But I always, always feel more content when I surrender those feelings of discontentment to Jesus and ask Him to satisfy me. I’m still working on this, and I am NOT anywhere near perfect. I’m just incredibly grateful to God for giving me contentment and want to share with you what I’ve learned over the last few years.

897a006e59c4d050b40094642c3b891bToday, I’m going to be making cookies and singing Broadway show tunes and watching my younger siblings as my parents share their testimony at a couples’ retreat. (I’ll fit Boy Meets World in there somewhere because it is now a tradition!) Tonight, some friends are coming over and we’re going to watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier and I’m going to cry because feels. But, most of all, I’m going to be happy today. I already am! I’m going to praise God for all of the amazing things He’s done for me this past year and ask that He bless me with contentment and satisfaction in Him alone as I continue to wait and do awesome things that glorify Him while I wait for my future husband. So much has changed since that horrible Valentine’s Day two years ago, and I’m so blessed. There will probably be a moment today when I think about how different today would be if I were in a relationship… but I’ll remind myself that I probably wouldn’t be able to spend time with my best friend or eat cookie dough or write a blog post in my pajamas if I had a boyfriend. So it’s all good.  😉

So, in conclusion, we have a choice. Today can be just another day and we can glorify God in it. Or we can let ourselves be caught up in the hype and mope around feeling sorry for ourselves. I made the wrong choice two years ago, and had to suffer through unhappy thoughts because of it. Today looks radically different because God has revealed the secret to true contentment to me.

I’m not telling you what to do, and I’m definitely not trying to glorify myself. I’m just asking that you think about how you’ll spend today: Being satisfied or dissatisfied? It’s your decision.