i now have a college degree.

IMG_6465 (2).jpgWarning: Rambly angst ahead.

I have no words.  I submitted my final paper over a week ago and I’ve been waiting for my final grades before I posted anything.  Well, I got my final grade today, and I still don’t know what to say.

The main drive I had in the last four years of my life is gone.  The massive, stressful weight disappeared this past weekend as my grade slowly trickled in.  I felt it leave as I sunk to the floor and looked up at my friend from Virginia who showed up on my doorstep.  She told me to stop being irrational because of course I’d pass.  And she was right – I did.

And with that main focus leaving, I’m sitting here on my bed, lukewarm cup of coffee in hand, wondering, Well… now what?

I talked to my coach for the last time this past week and we talked about how much had changed over the last four years.  I’ve become a better version of my eighteen-year-old self – not different at all from that wide-eyed, still-trying-to-lose-her-baby-fat teenager.  I’ve got a better taste in music, I’m more confident, my people skills aren’t amazing but so much more apparent, and I’ve gotten a lot better at covering up the midnight-study-sessions-induced bags under my eyes due to my improved makeup skills.  And that’s just the non-academic stuff.

Anyway, I’ve gotten a good taste of my post-grad life this past week.  Instead of writing papers through sleepy eyes, I watched documentaries.  Instead of rushing home from doing errands to see how many distracted hours of school I could get done while simultaneously trying to nanny, I sat on the floor at the library and colored an apple tree with my charges.  Instead of cramming as much study time as I could in the quiet hours while Mom was gone with the littlest two at homeschool PE, I gave her a much-needed packing afternoon and took them myself.

While I’m pretty scared of the future and whether or not I’ll waste this newfound freedom, I’m also incredibly excited.  I hate change but I love new beginnings, and that’s what gets me through the ever-changing chapters of my life.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to enjoy my first rainy day with no school in sight.

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20 thoughts on “i now have a college degree.

  1. I am so proud of you!! I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and watch you go through your classes. You’ve reached the reward. Now, on to the next challenge!!! 😘😘😘😘

  2. Congrats, Ashley! Yeah, it’s a weird feeling isn’t it? We’ve suddenly lost our identities as students which is hard since we’ve been students for so many years. Here’s to a new season of life and all the amazing things the Lord has for you.

  3. Congratulations!!! I can relate very much to the confused/lost feeling of “what am I doing next with my life…??” That’s basically how I’ve felt off and on ever since I graduated high school last year. I hope all goes well with whatever you pursue, and I know God will be with you! Congrats again!!
    (Also, if you don’t mind my asking, do you have a career or goal in mind now that you have your degree? Or are you just kind of waiting to see what comes along next? I’m always interested in other people’s life plans and such since I can’t figure my own out half the time. ;D)

    • Thank you! It’s scary yet thrilling, right??? Thanks – and same to you!!!

      (Totally don’t mind! I’m going to write a blog post about it at some point but I’m working on my resume and have a few places I’d like to work, chiefly a cute little bookstore nearish me. If that doesn’t work, I’ll work at a library or Starbucks. It’s just a side thing to help me earn money while I write, and if my writing doesn’t work out, I’ll just try the freelance thing. A lot of it’s up in the air, but I’m praying & trusting God, so I’m hoping it’ll all work out – and if not, that He’ll show me what the crap I’m supposed to do with my life, lol.)

      • Yes, definitely!

        Ahhh, I see. That sounds awesome and kind of similar to what I’m doing/planning to do. YES. Praying and trusting….and being patient. I’m still struggling to learn how to be patient with the waiting and wondering process. Hopefully it’ll be easier for you! I’m really looking forward to your blog post, now. 🙂

  4. You are the Queen, and you rule all. Epic congratulations. ❤

    (And I know how you feel . . . I felt the same way when I graduated last year. I know you'll do AMAZING in the next chapters of your life, just as you did in this one 🙂 )

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