coffee session | some things i’ve learned recently.

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(for le blog aesthetic / not mine)

You know the drill.  Grab a cup of coffee, listen to some music, and let’s have a chat.  (My side of the conversation is below; feel free to share yours in the comments!)

*sips coffee*

So my sister got some toffee nut syrup from Starbucks a few weeks ago and y ‘ a l l.  It’s so good.  Makes her mad when I “borrow” it, but it makes my coffee soooo yummyyyyyy.  (Why yes, I am drinking it right now – why do you ask?)

*sips coffee again*

I have a coaching call in literally one minute but I’m here writing out this post and if that doesn’t say something about my time management skills, I don’t know what will.

What’s a coaching call, you ask?  WELL.  CollegePlus – Lumerit, SORRY – is a distance-learning thing, and the thing the company does to keep you on track is give you a coach that calls you once every two weeks to chat about your life and your schooling and how it’s all going – and, most importantly, how you’re handling it all.

{musical interlude while I do my call}

Anyway, my coach is amazing and I love her to death.  She’s my fourth coach because I had three coaches in a year and let. me. tell. you. – that was not fun.  But she’s an angel and I think I love her best out of the three.  If I pass my last two courses (fingers crossed because they’re a little harder than I thought they’d be), I’ll be finished in March and that’s kinda sad because I’m going to miss talking to her every few weeks!  Plus she’s getting married, so that’s pretty dang exciting.

*sips coffee*

(it’s actually the next day and i’ve got coffee again and… yeah.  me in a nutshell)

So the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack came out the other night and oh my gosh.  It is all kinds of wonderful.  Seriously, I don’t know that I’ve related to a musical so much.  It’s so needed, too.  Such a beautiful, beautiful thing.  Listen to it.  If you’ve only got time for one song, listen to this one.  And really listen to it – turn it on, put headphones in, close your eyes, and just sit for a minute.  It’ll make you day a million times better.

I stayed up ’til after 1am listening to it when it came out, first laughing and dancing and dramatically lip-syncing in the bathroom and then sobbing while curled up in my bed with the blankets over my head.  Because that’s just the kind of musical that it is.

*sips coffee*

Like I mentioned before, college is hard.  I knew that going into it, and all the courses I’ve done have been different kinds of difficult, but… dang, these last two.  I’ve cried more over these than I have over any other course in my entire four years of college – which is kind of a lot because I don’t get stressed too easily.

I’ve always been super hard on myself, and have always had high expectations for myself, beating myself up inwardly if I didn’t meet those expectations.  I’ve always known that it’s probably not best for me to do that (LOL) but I’ve always let it slide because how else will I do anything well?

WELL.  All of the stress – courses, moving, trying to finish a freaking novel – came to a head over the last two-ish weeks (hence why I haven’t posted anything in a while – sorry, guys).  And it was bad.

Because I used to not get stressed too easily and then I was stressed literally all the time, I had to figure out how to take care of myself.  Definitely not by lowering my expectations for myself – because how stupid is that – but by not beating myself up in addition to everything else that’s putting pressure onto me.

SO.  While I certainly do. not. have. the. answers. (as evidenced by the fact that I still get stressed easily and will most likely cry over these courses again next week – looking forward to it), here are some things I’ve learned.

First and foremost, ask God for help.  Literally, this is the best thing you can do.  I think worrying is just being blinded by your own incompetence, so it’s a great idea to lean on the One who is good at everything, right?  Ask God for help and He’ll guard your heart with His peace that passes understanding.   Approach His throne with boldness and He’ll give you grace.

Second, figure out what’s giving you the most stress and see if you can relieve some of the stress.  Is your room a wreck but you don’t have time to clean it?  Do it in steps: Make your bed one day, take five minutes to pick up all the clothes the next day, spend ten minutes on it instead of on Facebook the day after that (which should be the first thing because we all need reasons to stay off Facebook these days).  Family member making you stressed?  Get out of the house, if only just to spend some time in the backyard or something; use headphones to shut it all out for a little while; or, better yet, encourage them to get out of the house.  (There’s almost nothing better than having an entire house to yourself.)  School giving you trouble?  Find someone who can help, work on it in spurts, set deadlines for yourself, reward yourself.

Which brings me to my third idea, the one I’ve been learning the most about recently:

SELF. CARE.

This is literally one of the best things you can do for yourself.  I’ve found that it’s mostly talked about in the realm of people who have depression, mental illnesses, self-harm issues, or other issues like that, which is kind of a shame because everybody could use it.

I’m so glad I started to learn about self-care personally, because it’s changed how I cope with things.  Instead of just bottling up the stress and pushing forward and never giving myself a break, I know how to deal with it in a better way now.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned how to reward myself when I’ve done my best by taking breaks after a long study session and curling up with a good book or guilty pleasure show.  (I’m halfway through the second season of said guilty pleasure show and halfway through the book I’ve been rewarding myself with.)  I set aside a day a week to work on my novel, which is a good idea because it needs to get done, it’s part of my massive final project, and it’s getting me into a good routine for when I’m done with college and can focus solely on my writing.

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t work hard anymore.  Far from it, actually.  I’ve found that making myself take breaks has made me work even harder – and better.  My writing has improved, my focus has improved, and my general attitude towards life has improved.

Plus, it’s always nice to have unexpected blessings, like spending the day with a good friend or your mom surprising you with gluten-free cupcakes.

All in all, my life has been pretty crazy lately, but mostly in good ways.  I’ll probably be here less, but I’ll come back when I can.

Have some laughing babies.

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14 thoughts on “coffee session | some things i’ve learned recently.

  1. YOU WILL BE FOUND UGGGHHHHH. *cries forever* but seriously though?? Words Fail?? Especially when he’s like “What if everyone saw?” Speak to me, Evan.

    • “Would they like what they saw… or would they hate it… too?” That line CUT. ME. TO. BITS last night. I was literally sobbing while driving and listening to it last night. But for real, that entire album and everything he goes through is so. incredibly. relatable. Like, thank you, Pasek & Paul, for ruining me – TWICE, when you think about La La Land – in the last month.

      • I HAVE NOT SEEN LA LA LAND YET I AM BROKEN INSIDE. *heart shatters again* Literally college is ruining my life because La La Land is more important than homework but I end up staying home doing homework instead of going to the theatre. #lame

        • YOU. NEED. TO. (I actually just saw it a few Saturdays ago so lol it’s okay.)

          AHH YES. I feel that. College is so important but it ruins so many lives.

  2. *hugs you, Ashley* I’m also one of those people who stress themselves out with high expectations. Like I recently started working at the library, which unfortunately doesn’t leave much time for editing my novel or blogging anything.
    Also, your coffee sounds amazing. *cries because no Starbucks in rural Australia* Also, I must go and listen to Dear Evan Hanson. Also, YES to self-care.
    Have a lovely week! 🙂

    • *hugs back* Saaaame. I’m sorry! I feel that – can’t wait ’til I graduate so I have more time to write!

      Thaaaaanks. You do! And YES!

      You too!!! ❤

    • Hahahahaha you’re welcome. Enjoy having your heart ripped out but somehow end up better than you were before. 😉

      Thank you – same to you, dear. ❤

  3. THANK YOU FOR THE POST. IT HELPS WITH ALL THE THINGS.

    Seriously, thank you . . . this is something I’ve really been trying to stay mindful of this semester; that I need to work hard, yes, but I also NEED to take breaks and take care of myself. And it helps so much ❤

    I also made a decision that I wasn't going to completely abandon working on my novel until vacation (which is what I normally do); instead, I'm working on it in little bits and pieces over the weekends, and I LOVE IT.

  4. *proceeds to add yet another musical to the “Must Listen to” list* Thank you very much for the recommendation. 😄

    I love the toffee-nut syrup from Starbucks! I usually add it to whatever mocha-flavored coffee I’m getting. 🙂

    I can definitely relate to placing expectations on yourself. During my teen years, this was especially true. I used to get really upset and beat myself up mentally if I didn’t measure up to my expectations. I became a perfectionist, thinking that, as the oldest, I had to do everything. Thankfully, my parents saw this and encouraged me to take it easy and let other siblings step up and help, too. (It helped that my mom can be the same way, so she usually can see the signs when I start doing it again.) Cross-stitching and reading became my best friends after schoolwork was finished for the day.

    All that to say, yes, self-care in vital. Thanks for the reminder! 😘

    • You’re so welcome! I know you’d love it. 😉

      Ooh that’s a great idea! I’ll have to do that now lol.

      That’s such a struggle! So glad you found help!!!

      Amen!

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