rambly honesty.

fall

oh. happy fall, y’all. {i stole this from pinterest.}

Decided to take a study break to grab a cup of coffee, watch a few Jimmy Fallon videos, and write a blog post.  Because it’s been too. dang. long. since I last posted, and that is UNACCEPTABLE.

*sips coffee*

My life is crazy.

I don’t need to tell you that, though, because I know yours is, too.  (And you’re doing WONDERFULLY, by the way – you’re still breathing, aren’t you?  You’ve got this, fam.)

I’m writing this in between writing essays on classics I’ve read, submitting a seventeen-page paper on selective mutism (which I can totally share if you want it but I’m absolutely certain you don’t), studying for a marketing final tomorrow (which I’m pretty sure I’ll fail), thinking about another ten-page conference paper I’ve gotta write… and then there’s mid-terms and finals and oral reports and another two novels that I’m supposed to be reading… all before the end of this month.  It’s not going to happen, but that’s the beauty of CollegePlus – I’m self-motivated enough to push through the hard parts, but I can reschedule deadlines if I absolutely need to.

Aaaanyway.  That’s why I haven’t been posting.  (And why I’ve been pinning like crazy – study breaks are wonderful, amiright???)

Besides school, though, life has been pretty fab.  Some wonderful friends came to visit us a few weekends ago (see our Instagram proof here and here), and it was literally one of the best weekends ever.  We crammed so much into those fifty hours… and we were late to everything but whatever.  😄

On another note, I got baptized yesterday.  It wasn’t a huge deal and I didn’t even know it was going to happen ’til a few days before, but it happened.

Truth be told, I’ve always thought that baptism wasn’t super important.  I believe it isn’t required for salvation, and because I’ve been burned by “works-based” Christians, I stayed away from anything that looked like that for a long time.

Then, when we went to WIT, I kind of had a revelation – a massive turning point in my relationship with Christ.  Long story short, I thought I was a lesser Christian because I wasn’t crying during worship like a lot of the other young adults were.  The revelation came when I got away from everybody and realized that God’s grace is sufficient.  It wasn’t like I heard God’s voice or anything, it was just… like the truth slowly snuck into my mind and like God was telling me, “You don’t need to act or look like everybody here.  I know your heart.”  It was amazing.

A few weeks ago, my family finished taking a membership class at our new church.  (Still can’t believe it’s been a year since we left our church.  O_O)  Apparently, to be a member of the church, one of the requirements is that you be baptized.  I didn’t want to get baptized “just because I had to to be a member,” but I’d already told a friend that I wanted to get baptized.  It wasn’t a “need,” it was just a desire – something I wanted to do out of my love for Christ, my obedience to Him, and my desire to be like Him.

So, yeah, that happened.  It rained like crazy that day and I thought lightning would strike the river and I’d get baptized and immediately float up to heaven, but I’m still here.

Let’s see… what else is going on?

*sips coffee*

That literature course I’m in the middle of is insane.  I’m reading all of these authors I’ve never even attempted before, the authors pretentious hipsters with man buns and skinny jeans who sip fair trade coffee on wooden bleachers at hipstery coffee shops talk about – Faulkner, Cather, Wharton, Hawthorne, Twain, Nabokov.  (I can feel myself turning into a hipster because of it, actually.  I just recorded myself playing a Hozier song on a ukulele in a distressed denim shirt and skinny jeans.  It’s ridiculous.)  Anyway, I’m enjoying it, though.  It’s giving me an appreciation for classics I’ve never had.

My sister and I also watched all of Stranger Things in a week.  (There are only eight hour-long episodes, guys.  We’re not that crazy.)  Even though I wouldn’t recommend it without a disclaimer for a kind of insane amount of language… it’s soooo goooooodddddd.  We started a Pinterest board and are planning on watching it again, this time showing it to our siblings.  Oh and I’m probably gonna write a blog post about it soon, too.  Just a heads-up, lol.

I got a pretty short haircut (which I’m in love with because it makes me look adorable and I’ve finally accepted the fact that that’s just the way I’m gonna look no matter what I do) and I’ve listened to more Taylor Swift in the last few weeks than I care to admit… and the same goes for watching Friends.  Oh and I’m also majorly crushing on a guy who barely knows I exist.  What are feelings and why do I have them.  *rolls eyes*  I’ll probably write a blog post about that, too.

Well.  Just letting you guys know I’m still alive.

I love you guys, by the way.  I love that even when I go away for, like, a month, you still comment sometimes and keep reading my posts and randomly message me on Instagram to tell me that you love what I write.  It makes it all feel worth it somehow.  I mean, I love to write so I’d probably do it anyway, but the fact that you guys like my rambling words… crazy.  ❤

I’ll be back soon.  🙂

ps: you know you’ve been studying too long when you spell fall “faul.”  yep.  i stared into a fake camera like i was on the office.  ugh what even is life.

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25 thoughts on “rambly honesty.

  1. Pingback: year in review: 2016. | inklings press

  2. Pingback: coffee session | grades & gilmore girls. | inklings press

  3. Hey, I just got a pretty short haircut, too! Everyone says it looks great on me and, personally, I like it a lot. 🙂 I’ll have to send you a picture sometime soon, eh?

    And it’s awesome that you got baptized. I was baptized several years ago, after I made a profession of faith as a little girl, but when I really got saved just recently, I got baptized again. Even though I definitely don’t believe baptism is necessary for salvation, I do believe that it’s an important step of faith and obedience toward God. And I’m a Baptist and my church doesn’t allow anyone to be a member who hasn’t had scriptural baptism. (A point of view I whole-heartedly agree with. :))

    I’m going to start referring to the autumnal season as Faul. 😉

    Love you!

    ~Eva

    • Ooh, definitely! I’d love to see a picture!

      That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you. 🙂 I completely agree. Interesting – our church is the same way.

      Oh my gosh, don’t you dare. 😄

  4. Ahh busy study days! Those were pretty stressful – and I remember having to submit a roughly 20 page assignment which was SUPER stressful especially since I only got it done last minute. I got baptised over 4 years ago. I struggled for a while about it because I thought I had to be a perfect Christian first but then I realised that in the Bible most Christians got baptised at the beginning of their Christian life – so long before they got the hang of being perfect lol – and God made it very clear He wanted me to do the same. Side note, we left our old church nine months ago and moving to our new church is one of the best things we ever did! Love it there and God is just SO present.
    Your hair is So. Cute. I’ve been thinking of chopping my hair short but with summer coming I’m thinking I might prefer long beach waves instead…
    And I did notice a few posts on your Pinterest which make sense now you say you have a crush 😉 Haha we’ve all been there, although I’ve yet to have one actually work out…
    Nice to know you’re still alive!

    • I feel that. Mine was only like ten pages of the actual essay, but seventeen when it was all said and done. O_O (And I only got an 80% on it, after all that hard work. *sigh* #collegeishard) Wow, that’s awesome! I kind of felt the same way. 🙂 YAY! I do agree that sometimes it’s best to move on. It definitely was in our case. Church had become a drudgery, and that wasn’t good. Aww, thanks! I think so, too. 🙂 Whatever works for you! I just hated dealing with the length. 😛

      HAHAHAHAHA. You’re not the first person to say that. Like one pin says, life with a crush is crazy but life without one is so boring. 😛 I’m cool with whatever happens. 🙂

      Ha! 🙂 Thanks for commenting!

  5. Ahh, lovely update post, Ashley. Even though I’m still towards the beginning of my degree, I’ve been finding myself stressed and overwhelmed with the workload recently. Heh. I feel you. *distressed sad face* How did that exam go? ❤

    Oh, I totally know what you mean about worship events where everyone's crying and you're just standing there like, "Jesus, you know I love you, but the tears can't be the only proof, okay?" And this: “You don’t need to act or look like everybody here. I know your heart.” Gah. I love that so much.

    (And your sisters are super sweet, by the way. I'd love to meet you as well sometime soon! Or maybe bump into you on an Empower Call if you still go to those. ;))

    • Aww, you’re so sweet! Yeah, the hardest is (at times) the worst bc you have to get used to it. My sister’s in the middle of a ten-page paper she’s trying to finish up over the weekend. It’s her first course (she’s done a few CLEPs), and she’s going nuts. CRAZY. I remember those days… *rocks on porch, sips tea* Whippersnappers… Anyway, the exam went pretty well! I think. I won’t know for a few weeks, but I think I passed. Hopefully. Crossing my fingers. If I passed, it sent me over the 100 credit mark, so that’s kinda cool.

      YES THANK YOU. So glad you get it. It’s crazy how much the enemy can warp our thoughts!!!

      Haha, I haven’t heard the end of it from Morgan. She’s so mad they met you and she hasn’t. 😄 I haven’t gone to one in a while (I was on some of the first, though 🙂 ), but I may pop in sometime!

      • UGH, yes. But it also means that hoooopefully we can be less-miserable in the long run, yes? *hopes very hard*

        Haha. Well, good for you! 😀 Sounds like you’ll have as many credits left as I have currently. xD (Hopefully that’ll change in the next few weeks.)

        DEFINITELY.

        That’s hilarious. I can imagine! And I’m jealous too, because you all can see her whenever, and I’m way far away.

        Sweet!

  6. I loved this post. 🙂

    Man I always feel like a robot while everyone’s emotional with their hands in their air and everything… but yes, like you said, God knows what’s in the heart. 🙂 I feel closest to God when things are quiet… generally. It’s amazing how God speaks to people in different ways.
    That’s so lovely that you got baptised. I personally think baptism is more than just a sign (just like purity before marriage is a sign, but also something we should do as Christians), but of course I respect+understand what you’re trying to say. 🙂

    And I relate to you on the ‘looking adorable’ thing too – sometimes I want to look MORE than adorable (as in flawlessly gorgeous ha-) but then adorable is good too. 😛 How short is your hair? Shoulder length?

    YESSS write a post on confusing crushes. :-O

    This post was sooo much fun to read… I think these kinds of posts are my favourite of yours. You’re so much fun.

    ~ Naomi

    • THANK YOU. And I felt doubly-bad because I cry over fictional characters all the stinkin’ time and this is GOD we’re talking about… ugh. It was bad. But I’m glad He knows me. (And I cried about spiritual things that night, SO. I’m not a total robot. :P) I feel closest to Him when things are quiet, too! Like I’ll be riding in the car listening to twenty one pilots and just start praising Him.

      Thank you! True. I get where you’re coming from. I don’t think it’s essential to salvation, but I feel like it’s something we could feel led to do out of love or obedience or a desire to be like Christ (like purity).

      GOOD. I can look pretty decent – like, my actual age – with the help of some makeup, but most of the time I’m too lazy to put it on. My hair’s a little shorter than shoulder length. If I could link to a picture, I would. Let me see if I can do that…

      HA. Okay. 🙂

      Aww, thank you!!!! That makes me SO HAPPY. 🙂

  7. Your real-life ramblings are always a delight. This was no exception. ^_^
    Happy autumn to you, and I’m looking forward to the upcoming posts you mentioned!

  8. You don’t have to be a hipster to think classics are cool. I absolutely love and adore classics, and I ain’t a hipster of any kind . . . so yeah 😉

    ESPECIALLY WILLA CATHER WHO IS THE GREATEST AMERICAN AUTHOR OF EVER. PERIOD. Not kidding.

    I feel ya on the insane workload . . . I really, really do . . . I’m going through the same thing right now with grad school. You got this, fren 🙂

    That’s awesome that you got baptized! I always love going to baptisms–I’ve been to roughly one million since I have SO MANY siblings, but it never gets old 🙂

    • HA. Good for you!!! 🙂 I actually love Willa Cather. I read My Antonia for this class (and a short story and few essays, I think, for another course) and I reeeeeally enjoyed it.

      I FEEL THAT. I don’t know how I’m getting through it. (Besides Jesus, that is.) Lots of coffee and binge-watching-shows-rewards are involved. 😄 Awesome!!! We used to have them all the time, and now that we’re at a bigger church, we see them like once a month. It’s great. 🙂

  9. This is my favorite kind of post. They’re so….. idk, honest and real, I guess. You’re opening up and being vulnerable, admitting you don’t have it all together. (This is something I’m working on – being real with everyone, not just a select few.)

    I’m sure you’ll do fine tomorrow. Just give it your best and pray to God you pass 😉 Why the heck do you have so much school??!??! ❤

    • HA. It’s my favorite, too, bc I can let myself just ramble. Like a lot. 😄 I just don’t do it very often bc they feel so unstructured. 😛 You’re so sweet, Kate. ❤

      I really really hope I do. I AM!!!! Bc I'm an idiot and scheduled too much at one time and bc I just. wanna. get. done. 😄

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