Christina Grimmie. The Orlando shooting. Anton Yelchin.
I don’t understand why bad things happen. Sometimes I pretend to, just to make myself feel better. And that’s wrong.
It’s not easy to function when all of these things hit us one after another. Yesterday, after I heard about Anton, I cried for a while, and then wondered how I was supposed to “be on” today – school, work, everyday life – in the midst of all of this crushing sadness.
It’s not easy to trust God. It’s not easy to think that His way is best. This is why I fail most of the time.
Which is why it’s in those moments that I have to run to God and cling to Him. Because it’s in those moments that He’s all I have left.
I’m learning to trust God through the pain. It’s so incredibly hard and some days I don’t want to do it and some days I put my headphones on and listen to my screamo ukulele so I can have an excuse to scream and cry and blame it on twenty øne piløts. But I always try to come back to God and go, “Listen, I don’t know why this is happening and I don’t know why You’re letting it happen, but I’m choosing to trust You despite it, so please help me through it and give me peace.”
I choose to hope. I choose to trust. I choose to have joy. I choose to do this, because sometimes it’s all I can do.
(This is my favorite cover of Here Comes the Sun by one of my favorite people. The song starts at 1:31.)