on flexibility and patience.

hydracap1.jpg

random, but i could write an entire post about this. however, this is literally all i’m gonna say about this subject. *mic drop* #SayNoToHydraCap

Hello, my people!

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while – school has been nuts, as has just my normal life.  (Lol, what am I talking about; my life is anything but normal.)  I’ve just gotten back (“just gotten back” – hello, influence of all the British shows I’ve been watching) from taking the final of that course I’ve been doing for a while (the writing one that I’ve been talking to y’all about) and a de-stressing trip to my favorite bookstore ever.  My baby sister is graduating from high school tomorrow, and that’ll be crazy.  (It feels like I just graduated from high school.  And now I’m a Senior in college.  WUT EVEN.)  I’m nannying two full days a week now, which has gone a thousand times better than expected.  I sometimes get mistaken for the kids’ mom when we’re out, but that’s okay.

ANYWAY.  I’ve been thinking about something for a while that I’d love to bounce off you guys.  Sound good?  Good.

Ever had one of those moments when you’re just like, “Aww, yiss.  I finally have a plan for my life.  Cool.”  And then it all just goes downhill?

Yeah.  That happened to me the other night.

patience.jpgI thought I knew what a certain aspect of my life was gonna look like, and I had a plan for the next several months.  Then something happened that just flipped it all on its head.  It was like God was saying, “Oh, you think you’re in charge of your life?  Let’s shake this up a bit.  You don’t like that feeling of listlessness and uncertainty now?  Well, hon, there’s a solution.  It’s called trusting in Me.”

(This obvs isn’t how God talks in my mind – if He ever does – but it’s what all the feelings sounded like when they were put together.)

I’m learning more than ever before that surrender is a daily thing.  We can definitely have plans for our lives, but they’ve got to be flexible.  You never know when something will happen that shoots everything clear out of the water.

Now, this thing that happened wasn’t life-altering or anything.  It didn’t even change what this aspect of my life looked like.  (On the outside, at least.)  It was brand-new information that (eventually) solidified my plan.  Which was fantastic, because it was what I needed.

God always sends us what we need, doesn’t He?  Not necessarily what we want, but what will get us through to the other side enough for us to look back and realize how much better off we are than if He’d just given us what we asked for.

So many times over the past few years, God gave me what I needed rather than what I wanted, and it’s taught me to trust Him – and ask Him to send me what I need in addition to what I want.

However, as we have daily proof, the world isn’t a wish-granting factory, and God isn’t a vending machine.  Just because I ask God for something – even if He’s given me the desire for it (I’m looking at you, future husband) – doesn’t necessarily mean He’s going to give it to me now or later… or even ever.

And that’s where patience comes in.  I’m asking for a lot of patience right now, because there are days when I really wish I could speed up time.  (Don’t you???)

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about all of that a lot.  I’m finally in a better place (after struggling with lack of patience and wanting something that I will probably never have for almost a MONTH!), and I’m certainly better off since I’ve surrendered this area to God.  (Learn from my struggles, guys.  Trust me – you don’t want to learn this the hard way.  Surrender everything to God.  DAILY.)

What do you guys think?  Is patience a virtue you already have?  (If so, teach me your ways!)  Are you struggling with flexibility?  Are you influenced by too much British TV???  Let’s talk!

 

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9 thoughts on “on flexibility and patience.

  1. This is a great post, Ash! Thanks so much for sharing. A lot of the time, I’m pretty good about flexibly…I didn’t say always…because of course when something is gonna rub me the wrong way I wanna fight back with all of me…not necessarily a good thing, but I’m still learning…and will be…it’s one of those up and down things for me. Sometimes it’s easy and no big deal, other times, I feel like my life is gonna fall apart.

    Patience on the other hand *sighs* I don’t think I’ll ever get that down. 😞 I struggle a lot with this a lot more than I should. I know I need it and It’s one of those things where I’m like “God, please, give it to me NOW!” Ironic I know, but too true. *facepalm* Waiting is SO hard and yet God puts us in waiting places to test our faith and trust in Him. Which…- another confession – I fail too often…cuz though I wait (haha I don’t necessarily have a choice), it’s HOW I wait, my attitude, my actions while waiting. Especially when it comes to knowing what His will is for me, what His plan is for my future. Thing is, a lotta times, on the outside, I seem like a patient person, a calm person, (I’ve had a lot of comments about being a calm and really patient person) but most of the time, I’m not. Hard stuff, BUT what a relief that it doesn’t have to be that way! I totally agree that daily surrender of everything to God is hugely important! And though I know it’s true, it is almost never easy. It’s my prayer that He keeps teaching me the art of letting go, and total surrender to HIM, no matter how much I stumble and fail. Even if He has to shake me to get me to let go of what I want and grab onto Him so that He can give me what I need.

    Okay, Wow! I think I just said way more than I was planning on when I started.

    Well, anyway… thanks again! This post really was such an encouragement. 🙂 May God bless you as you continue to surrender everything to Him daily! 💖💖

    • Flexibility is definitely something I’m still working on, too. (The day after this post, I pitched a fit when I was told that the family plans had been changed. …heh. Still working. 😉 )

      I don’t think I’ll ever get patience, either! I NEED TO KNOW ALL OF THE ANSWERS TO MY LIFE’S QUESTIONS N O W. And yes – the attitude definitely matters (and that’s something I’m working on, too – see above lol). Haha, same here! We can fake our inner feelings so often!!! Which is why I’m ALSO working on authenticity. 🙂 Daily surrender is THE MOST HUGEST THING, esp. when you’re having a hard time with it. (Lol it’s like saying, “Oh you hate broccoli? Here hAVE SOME EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU LEARN TO BEG FOR IT.”) Total surrender is *definitely* key – we can’t keep ANYTHING back for ourselves. (Hey, I understood that reference. XD)

      Thanks for commenting! 🙂 ❤

  2. Chris Evans suffers from anxiety too???? HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS.

    Seriously . . . I know this is gonna sound weird, but I feel so, SO much better about myself, knowing that. Cap and I will struggle with our anxiety together. #TeamCapForever

    Awesome post, Ashley! I wish I could say more about it but . . . words are not really coming to me right now. I really liked it, though 🙂

    • HE DOOOOOOES. It makes me feel better, too. I don’t get “attacks” as much as I’m just generally anxious sometimes. I know the feel! #TeamCapALWAYS

      Thank you! 🙂

  3. It’s difficult to understand the fine balance between trusting on God for what’s going to happen in your future, and moving ahead at the same time. It’s very hard.
    I had a very similar experience a couple weeks ago — there was a door God potentially opened for me, and I was having high hopes that this next school year was going to go just as I’d planned, but then I discovered that it was a closed door. And really, I didn’t feel disappointed that some of my dreams came crashing down. I’m thankful that God has helped me feel secure in Him.

  4. Phtttt! If you find someone who has this whole patience thing down, please give me their number. 😉
    Right now, flexibility can’t happen for me, what with my family preparing to move. If my parents want to stick to the timeline, every weekend and spare moment in the week is occupied with painting and yard work. (Thank goodness for Sundays)
    Girl, I am SO VERY MUCH influenced by British TV, books, and musicals. Miranda, Moriah, and I walk around the house throwing quotes and random accents around.

    • SAME!

      I feel you! Since we’re getting ready to move, too, it’s gonna get kind of crazy. (And AMEN.)

      I KNOW YOU ARE. XD Nice! Same here. 😛

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