I was really depressed yesterday. Everything that my family and I have gone through in the past few weeks just hit me all at once with a big WHUMP and I just sat on a barstool for a while, the only thought running through my head being “Well, dang.”
AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS DEPRESSED.
Maybe it’s because of all the Dan & Phil videos I’ve been watching. (Oh my gosh, Dan, your existential crises are rubbing off on me!!! NOOOOOooooooooo.)
Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, specifically what my future holds. Have you guys ever thought about how scary it is that the future is just this big void that you can’t imagine? Come on – it can’t be just me. It freaks me out that my future is so uncertain. Honestly, I can’t even imagine what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be in five years. I have a few things that I’m interested in doing in the next two years, but I have no idea if they’ll actually happen.
In all of this thinking, I remembered something someone said to me once (and I’m putting it in big quotes because it’s important):
“Where do you want to be in five years? Think about it. After you’ve decided what that looks like… what are you going to do today to help you get there?”
CAN I GET AN AMEN?! No? All I hear is silence. Meh. Same here.
We all have dreams of what we want to do “when we grow up.” As I’m going through that annoying “growing up” phase, I’m realizing that we don’t immediately reach that dream. We don’t turn twenty-one and instantly become (fill in the blank). (If we could do that, I’d be an NY Times Bestselling Author in a little less than four months. WAHOO.)
Our passions should fuel our daily lives. Our dreams should determine what we do every day.
But real life is, often, just the opposite.
We sit around – much like I did yesterday – and moan about what we want our lives to be like. We sit on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and Pinterest, endlessly – endlessly – scrolling, all the while wishing, dreaming, and praying that our lives looked like the perfection we see on the screen.
But here’s the truth:
NO ONE’S LIFE IS PERFECT.
Your life is just as hard, just as messed up, and just as beautiful as everyone else’s. Why do I say beautiful? Because your life is yours. Would you trade it for anyone else’s? If you said yes to that, you’re deluding yourself. No one’s life is perfect, but everyone’s life is beautiful.
Life isn’t about perfection. Life is about struggling through and making it your own beautiful mess.
The second we were born, God gave us the most incredible blessing in the world – the opportunity to make something of ourselves and see what we can do in the small amount of time that we’re given.
(That quote is from this song. It’s called ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping at Last, my new favorite group. If you haven’t heard it, listen to it now.)
The truth is, I have no idea what my future holds. I’m just learning how to stumble through, searching for the things that make me happy and doing them. I have at least three big projects that I’m working on right now. I have no idea how long I’ll work on them or if anything will come from them. BUT. I’m doing them because they make me happy. And I need some happiness in my life. I’m already doing enough that doesn’t make me happy, so I’ve been running towards
SO LISTEN UP.
No matter how sucky your life might be right now, you still have the opportunity to make it amazing. You still have tomorrow. You can still make choices that will make your life better. And when you can’t handle the struggle anymore, give it all up to God, lean on Him, and press forward.
Because your life is beautiful and you are more than worth it.