the beauty of life.

I was really depressed yesterday.  Everything that my family and I have gone through in the past few weeks just hit me all at once with a big WHUMP and I just sat on a barstool for a while, the only thought running through my head being “Well, dang.”


Maybe it’s because of all the Dan & Phil videos I’ve been watching.  (Oh my gosh, Dan, your existential crises are rubbing off on me!!!  NOOOOOooooooooo.)

i am dan. dan is me.

i am dan. dan is me.

Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, specifically what my future holds.  Have you guys ever thought about how scary it is that the future is just this big void that you can’t imagine?  Come on – it can’t be just me.  It freaks me out that my future is so uncertain.  Honestly, I can’t even imagine what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be in five years.  I have a few things that I’m interested in doing in the next two years, but I have no idea if they’ll actually happen.

In all of this thinking, I remembered something someone said to me once (and I’m putting it in big quotes because it’s important):

“Where do you want to be in five years?  Think about it.  After you’ve decided what that looks like… what are you going to do today to help you get there?”

CAN I GET AN AMEN?!  No?  All I hear is silence.  Meh.  Same here.

We all have dreams of what we want to do “when we grow up.”  As I’m going through that annoying “growing up” phase, I’m realizing that we don’t immediately reach that dream.  We don’t turn twenty-one and instantly become (fill in the blank).  (If we could do that, I’d be an NY Times Bestselling Author in a little less than four months.  WAHOO.)

Our passions should fuel our daily lives.  Our dreams should determine what we do every day.

But real life is, often, just the opposite.

We sit around – much like I did yesterday – and moan about what we want our lives to be like.  We sit on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and Pinterest, endlessly – endlessly – scrolling, all the while wishing, dreaming, and praying that our lives looked like the perfection we see on the screen.

But here’s the truth:


Your life is just as hard, just as messed up, and just as beautiful as everyone else’s.  Why do I say beautiful?  Because your life is yours.  Would you trade it for anyone else’s?  If you said yes to that, you’re deluding yourself.  No one’s life is perfect, but everyone’s life is beautiful.

Life isn’t about perfection.  Life is about struggling through and making it your own beautiful mess.

The second we were born, God gave us the most incredible blessing in the world – the opportunity to make something of ourselves and see what we can do in the small amount of time that we’re given.

beautiful existance

(That quote is from this song.  It’s called ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping at Last, my new favorite group.  If you haven’t heard it, listen to it now.)

The truth is, I have no idea what my future holds.  I’m just learning how to stumble through, searching for the things that make me happy and doing them.  I have at least three big projects that I’m working on right now.  I have no idea how long I’ll work on them or if anything will come from them.  BUT.  I’m doing them because they make me happy.  And I need some happiness in my life.  I’m already doing enough that doesn’t make me happy, so I’ve been running towards


No matter how sucky your life might be right now, you still have the opportunity to make it amazing.  You still have tomorrow.  You can still make choices that will make your life better.  And when you can’t handle the struggle anymore, give it all up to God, lean on Him, and press forward.

Because your life is beautiful and you are more than worth it.

You are important - Dan

5 thoughts on “the beauty of life.

  1. Pingback: year in review: 2015 | inklings press

  2. Eowyn,
    I love reading your posts. Your musings ring true on a theoretical level, and often resonate with me personally as well.
    The beginning of your post here describes my last few weeks with uncanny accuracy. So thank you for the second half of the post and all the encouragement it contains. :]
    I’ll be praying for you and your family.

  3. I relate to this so much. I’ve been kind of really sad lately (not sure it exactly qualifies as depressed), and I’m guessing you’re feeling much worse since you’re right smack in the middle of all that…stuff, much of which I’m sure I don’t even know about. Oh, man, uncertainty is scary. I want things to all be good. I want things to all be planned and follow that plan. I don’t like being scared about what’s going to happen next. I have to keep reminding myself (and I’m really not at all good at listening) that GOD is in control. He has a plan and things will follow it. Sure things aren’t going to be perfect here, and things are going to be scary and uncertain, but God is using it all to make us more like Him.

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