(In case some of you missed last week’s post and are confuzzled, I changed the title of my NaNo novel, Daniella, to The Art of Letting Go. Onward.)
Heehee… This week was weird. I’ve been behind all week, so I was looking forward to going to an AWESOME friend’s house and writing with her, but… then her brother got sick and then he got worse and I ended up not going. 😦 Miss you, Frankie! Anywho, I decided to try to keep writing, and ended up writing over four thousand words yesterday – YAHOO! Here’s hoping that we’ll be able to get together on Monday. *crosses fingers*
I can’t believe that next week will be the last week of NaNo! It’s been an incredible month, and I’ve loved getting to know Daniella, Kyle, and David, and having my writing abilities be stretched.
The hardest part about The Art of Letting Go is that, well, for starters, it’s super sad. I can’t tell you about all of the sad parts that have happened over the past two weeks, but trust me – it’s depressing. Second, I started writing it right after reading The Hunger Games trilogy, which is in first person, present tense. So guess how I started writing it? You guessed it. First person, present tense. So instead of saying, “She went to the animal shelter and got a cat,” I write “I go to the animal shelter and get a cat.” (Not that Daniella goes to the animal shelter or gets a cat…) So that’s been interesting.
Ugh, this week, I’ve been so distracted by just random things that keep happening. Things like Comic Con… and the new Mockingjay trailer, which should be out on Monday, and music and school and The Book Thief and Boy Meets World and raaaaaandom things like that. We’ve been working on our basement all week – reorganizing, cleaning out, etc – and we’re on our third movie. High Society, then Star Trek, then Leap Year. Yes, we have a wide variety of movie likes. 😀
Speaking of music, I promised the playlist of this novel a while ago, didn’t I? Well, I don’t have all of the songs picked out yet, but I have quite a few narrowed down. Here beez a few of them.
Sky’s Still Blue – Andrew Belle
I love this song because it defines the hope that Daniella eventually finds. ‘Oh, if you’re hearing this, I must’ve made it through.’
My Oldest Friend – Andrew Belle (again)
This song perfectly describes the relationship between Daniella and Kyle, who’ve known each other for nearly eight years at the beginning of The art of Letting Go. They’re such good friends…. 🙂
Say Something – Great Big World
‘Say something, I’m giving up on you…’ I know this song is a tad over-used, but I love it and I play it on the piano and sing my heart out every time and it fits perfectly for all of my three main characters, thankyouverymuch. *sniffs*
I Will Follow You Into the Dark – Death Cab For Cutie (cover by Gavin Mikhail)
I discovered this song in an Everlark (Peeta Mellark + Katniss Everdeen) fanvid (that you can watch here), and fell in love both the video and the song! It perfectly describes Daniella’s love for David – she’ll do anything to stay with him… even follow him into the dark. ‘If there’s no one to guide you when your soul embarks, then I’ll follow you into the dark.’
Gone, Gone, Gone – Phillip Phillips
This one’s a little happier – yay! It pretty much describes Kyle’s relationship with Daniella – except he doesn’t like-like her. 😉
And I think that’s pretty much it… I think. We’ll see. 😉
Oh, I made another picture!
Now, I finally understand what Kyle told me once. It had been one of those normal days where he came to teach me a little, have me play for him a little, and then play something for me. He had just finished playing a modern pop song – one of the slow, melancholy ones – and I had listened to the whole thing from the wingback chair beside the piano with my eyes closed.
“How long have you been playing the piano?” I asked.
“About eight years,” Kyle told me, smiling. His fingers caressed the keys, and he seemed to be well-acquainted with them.
“Only eight?” My eyebrows go up and I sit up a little “You’re really good for having only played eight years.”
“Thank you,” Kyle replies, his grin taking on a hint of embarrassment. “I love playing it, so I love practicing.” His voice softens. “I love finding that one song that you know you’ll love, but think it’s too hard. Then, when you can play it all the way through without stopping or making any mistakes, you get this sense of accomplishment that can only come after trying and trying and trying at something until you finally achieve it.”
I close my eyes again, listening to Kyle talk. It’s almost as if he’s talking to himself now, because his tone is so quiet and the words that he’s saying are so personal. I kind of feel like I’m eavesdropping, but I still listen.
“There’s just something about getting through something hard. And it doesn’t even have to be piano – it can be a struggle or a competition or a feeling. Something that you have to conquer, to defeat.”
He pauses. When he speaks again, his voice is so low I can barely hear him. “When my dad died, I was so angry. I couldn’t believe that God had taken away my best friend. For a while, I lashed out at everyone around me – my mom, my siblings, my friends. Eventually, my mom sat me down and talked to me. She told me that it had to stop – I couldn’t be so angry anymore. She told me to pick something to do that can distract me. I picked running. She picked piano.”
I open my eyes. Kyle isn’t looking at me. His head is on the lid of the piano and his fingers are tapping out a silent melody on the tops of the keys without pressing them down. He’s staring at the keys, as if seeing old memories inside of them. I can’t take my eyes away.
“For years, I ran and played piano, doing it out of obedience, but not feeling the anger go away. Then, one day… I don’t know what happened. I played a song with more emotion than I’d ever put into music before. It was beautiful, but it left me tired and worn out. And, for the first time in a long time… I didn’t feel angry anymore. It was weird. I still ran and played piano, but the anger was gone. I had finally accepted my past.” He smiled a little. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but… I found Jesus again.”
A year ago, I would’ve waved him off like I had always done. A year ago, I would’ve said, “That’s great” without any feeling, simultaneously trying to get the conversation on to another topic. But today… I wanted to listen.
“I didn’t know what had happened for a while, but then… I realized. God had taken away my anger. Totally blew it away, replacing it with… I don’t know – I think contentedness. I’m still sad whenever I think about my dad, but I’m not angry anymore. I know that God’s ways are higher than mine and that He’s got a plan for my life, even if I can’t see it.”
Beautiful silence. Kyle didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything. I don’t know what Kyle was thinking about, but I was thinking about God. For the first time in my life, I saw God through a different light. I didn’t see Him as some all-powerful being in the sky who created humans and then left them to kill and love each other. I saw Him as someone who cares for people – individual people, like Kyle and David and Mal and… me. I’d never thought about Him like that. I needed to ask questions. A million questions. Pick Mal and Kyle’s brains for hours and hours. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I had to search for the answers for myself for a while. I felt like I needed to do that.
“You know what they say about hindsight being 20/20?” Kyle asks, breaking the silence. He sits up and flashes his lopsided grin at me. “I get it now. I’m seeing my past through God’s eyes. I couldn’t see His plan while I was going through it, but now I can see that He meant everything that I’ve ever been through for a purpose.” Kyle shakes his head, staring at the piano again. “It’s a crazy thing.”
Ick, that looks so rough. Excuse my pardon – I haven’t edited yet. 😀
I can’t think of anything else to share, soooo… das it! On to writing more so I can share more next weekend. 😉