I guess it is.
This week went… okay. I had a few things happen this week that hindered my writing, so I ended up getting caught up, then fell behind again. Right now, I’m at *checks* 16,605 words (WOOT!), but I’m supposed to be at almost 20k by the end of the day (drat).
I’ve hit the initial bump, too – meaning I need to start brainstorming again. This is where I always slow down in my writing. I know the beginning, and then I figure out the ending, but the middle… is just a huge blur. That’s where my writing quality starts failing, too – heh, heh… Time to make some bodies drop from the ceiling, I guess!!!
I’ve mainly been listening to fanvids (a lot of THG and Boy Meets World – don’t judge!) and Night Visions by Imagine Dragons, which is conflicted and has a variety of moods, which reminds me of what Daniella is going through. (‘I’m bleeding out!’)
Anywho. Titles! I’ve been brainstorming about a title a lot – because, as I’ve learned in the past, if I don’t come up with one in the beginning of the writing process, I’ll hate myself. I have the possibilities narrowed down to about five, and I have one that I’m really liking. I should have it by next week, so stay tuned for that!
Would you like an excerpt? Of course you would. (Kinda long, so bear with me. It flows a little weird right now, so I can’t really do short excerpts. Sowwy.)
I hang up and toss my phone on my bed. As I walk into the bathroom, my reflection in the full-length mirror catches my eye. I stop and stare at myself. ‘I look terrible.’ My eyes are red-rimmed and my face is splotchy and hot. I look like I haven’t slept in years.
A memory flashes through my mind’s eye. A regular school day, almost a month ago. David had been out of town all weekend and I had been sick all weekend. We hadn’t seen each other in five days. As I got ready for school that morning, I put on extra makeup in an attempt to cover up my sunken cheeks from not eating all weekend.
Flash forward to an hour later. I took a book out of my locker and checked my appearance in the mirror on the inside of the locker door. Suddenly, I felt someone wrap their arms around my shoulders and put their chin on my shoulder. David’s face smiled at me in my mirror.
“David!” I exclaimed in surprise.
“How are you, peach?”
I grinned back at him. “Doing good, plum.”
He winked, then spun me around and ran his thumb across my cheek.
“I missed you,” I admitted, blushing a little.
“I missed you, too,” he said, a little breathlessly. He looked a little surprised.
I frowned a little. “What?” I asked, thinking he was shocked that I looked so terrible.
“You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”
I stare at myself in the mirror, rushed back to the present day because I can’t stand to live in the memory any more. My eyes well with tears as I wonder, ‘What would he think of me now? What would he say to me, if it hadn’t been him?’ I close my eyes again, reaching out to feel for his embrace, smell his cologne, anything.
In a moment, I know what he’d say. He’d take my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, and kiss me on my forehead. “You’ll be fine,” he would say, giving me a glimpse of that dazzling smile of his. “You’ll get through this because you’re strong and can get through anything. That’s what I love about you.”
I open my eyes. ‘I can do this. I have to. I have to be able to do this for David.’ I clench my teeth and turn from the mirror, determined to start anew and not dwell on the past. ‘It’s over,’ I tell myself, locking the bathroom door behind me. ‘Time to move on.’
I turn around. My back hits the bathroom door and I slide down it, all the way to the floor. And start sobbing. Again.
So. What do you think?
Also, try to guess how feelsy I’ve been in the past two weeks, judging from that excerpt alone. Yep. It’s BAD. 😀